Photo by Adam Fagen

If there’s any silver lining in widespread customer dissatisfaction, it could be the burst of creativity it sometimes inspires. And it’s hardly surprising that Pepco—one of the lowest-rated companies in the United States—is a spark of such ingenuity when tens of thousands of its customers in D.C. are still blanketed by blackouts caused by last Friday’s thunderstorm.

But one resident, miffed by what he says is the second outage in as many weeks to leave his house darkened, hot and unpleasant, is putting his frustration with the electric company to song. Alexander Martone, who lives in a Friendship Heights house that is currently sitting in the dark, is venting through his current service disruption by writing lyrics to a tune he calls “The Ballad of Pepco,” a torch song for the much-maligned company.

“The Ballad of Pepco,” Martone, writes in an email to DCist, is meant to be sung to the tune of “The Ballad of Joe Hill,” an old labor hymn of which the best-known recording is by Paul Robeson.

Here’s what Martone’s Pepco-fueled outrage inspired:

I dreamed I saw Pepco last night
Driving down my street.
“Thank God!” said I, “Our power’s down.”
“It never died,” said he…
“It never died,” said he.

Says I “No, you don’t understand
The lights have all gone out!
The food’s now bad. We’re going mad
From heat without a doubt…
From heat without a doubt.”

Says he “You’re not upon our map;
The grid shows you’re just fine.”
Says I “But look out on our street.
There’s a down-ed power line…
There’s a down-ed power line.”

Says he “Well, tell us on our app.
Be sure to log in right!
We’ll check it out, see what’s about
Sometime tomorrow night…
Sometime tomorrow night.”

“But we’ll have melted down,” says I,
“There’s no way we can last!
But if it’s just for one more day,
I guess we can hold fast…
I guess we can hold fast.”

“Oh no,” says he, “Don’t count on that.
Tomorrow’s just been nixed.
First we’ll diagnose the grid,
In a fortnight she’ll be fixed…
In a fortnight she’ll be fixed.”

“You can’t just leave us stranded here
With no good end in sight!
Didn’t you prep and plan for this –
For setting things a-right…
For setting things a-right?”

“Well there’s your fatal flaw,” said he,
“Now let me put you wise.
We’re such a bad utility, yet
You assume we’re organized…
You assume we’re organized?”

From D.C. up through Maryland
In every neighborhood
All folks who use electricity
Know Pepco is no good…
Know Pepco is no good.

I dreamed I saw Pepco last night
Driving down my street.
“Thank God!” said I, “Our power’s down.”
“Sucks to be you,” said he.
“Sucks to be you,” said he.

Robeson’s “Ballad of Joe Hill,” posted below, is a somber, doleful tune. Pepco is known for inspiring similar feelings, and we like Martone’s lyricism, right down to the final insult in the last verse. In fact, we’d like hear what this might sound like put to music, so we’re announcing an open call to all D.C.-area musicians to record Martone’s diss track. And there’s no need to be as dour and blue as Robeson’s song: Hardcore, go-go, shoegazing, dream pop, surf rock—we’ll consider any and all versions and post the best ones.

So, bands, if you’re up to the challenge, please upload your version of “The Ballad of Pepco” to your Bandcamp, Soundcloud or YouTube page, or email us an MP3 version at tips@dcist.com.

In the mean time, here’s Robeson’s “The Ballad of Joe Hill”: