Photo by thisisbossi

We’ve all worked a job where we felt totally outmatched, hopelessly under-trained or just completely clueless. In those moments, everything we do—or don’t do—ends up screwing with the work that our co-workers are trying to get done. This week a food service workers at Nationals Park perfectly communicated what all of us should have been told in those moments of weakness.

Overheard of the Week

Big boy pants

On Tuesday, August 21, at the Nats game during the rain delay I went to get food with a friend. The lines were predictably and understandably long. Our line was staffed by a woman that was probably in her 50s and a guy in his 40s. He got in her way when grabbing trays and her response was priceless:

“You have trays over by that fryer. Come on, put your big boy pants on.”

You guys have really kicked it up this week—it seems that August really brings out the snoop in everyone. Keep it up, and send your submissions to our special email address. Include context if you can.

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Old Carollton?

Little girl with her mom getting off the Metro at New Carrollton

Little girl: “This is New Carrollton”
Mom: “Yes”
Little girl: “It doesn’t look very new.”

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Another earthquake and it might just come down

At the Washington Monument

Little girl, about 5 years old, in tears, pointing to the monument: “It’s gonna fall on me! I wanna get awaay!”

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Fashion advice?

A fairly stylishly dressed 20-something guy sits down next to a very obviously old homeless man with his accumulation of plastic bags around. The homeless man leans over and asks with extreme concern in his voice.

“They don’t make you wear vintage clothes, right?”

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That’s quite the way to start the week

Overheard at 6:00 p.m. on a Monday walking up 18th St. in Adams Morgan

Middle-aged woman in an Avatar T-shirt whispers loudly enough for others to hear: “Yeeeeow Yeeeeeeeeeow…They really do have peyote!”

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No they didn’t

On the corner of 12th and F Streets NW, a family of four steps off the Metro escalator.

Dad (pointing to a random building on the corner): Look kids, that’s the Ronald Reagan Building.
Mom: It looks so modern, I thought it would look more historic.
Dad: Oh, they did a major remodel recently.
Mom: Oh, that makes sense.

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Scaling up

Two gay men walking to kickball on P Street…obviously talking about someone.

One of them turns to the other and says, “Honey, she’s not big-boned…she’s scaled up,” with “scaled up” in air quotes.

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What do you want to be when you grow up?

On packed Green Line to Friday night Nats game

Tourist boyfriend turns to tourist girlfriend, points at D.C. denizen in short-sleeve button-up next to them looking into phone. “See, that’s what my parents wanted me to be…professional.”

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Permanent pregnancy

Overheard on a bus this morning, a discussion between a couple about another friend:

“Yeah, she kept saying how amazing it was that she could still fit into her wedding gown. I kept thinking, ‘Yeah, it’s amazing how you still look eight months pregnant!'”

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STATEHOOD!

Man outside Union Station: “I’ve only ever been in three states: Maryland, Virginia, and D.C.”

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Green Line game

Green line, between Waterfront and Navy Yard, on the way to Nats/Mets game

Well-dressed, handsome, 50-ish African American man trying to get the attention of a 50-ish white, baseball-game-goin’ suburban mom.

“Excuse me. Excuse me, ma’am.”
“Yes?”
“I just wanted to say… has anyone ever told you that you have the loveliest smile? You light up the room with your smile.”
Glances nervously at her family members, who are spread out across the crowded train.
“Oh, thank you so much!”
“And, if I could ask one more question… Just exactly how young a lady are you?”
Nervous laughter followed by silence and an uncomfortable stare into the middle-distance.

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Afraid to have bones jumped

Rush hour, on the Yellow Line towards Mt Vernon. These two people are in seats together, obviously coworkers. Mid-40s to -50s.

Female: I swear if she wasn’t married she’d jump your bones .
Guy makes a super uncomfortable laugh
Female: No, I’m serious. I don’t care about all the Catholic implications. She wants you.
More awkward laughing
Female: But fine, don’t you worry, I’ll find you a wife that doesn’t speak English. That’s how my husband and I started and we’re still going strong. You’re just afraid to be happy.

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Acid Reflux was a great movie

Nats game on Monday, August 20

Girl: I think I might have acid reflux.
Guy: Well that wouldn’t be good, what makes you say that?
Girl: I looked it up on IMDB.
Guy: I think you mean WebMD.
Girl: What?
Guy: Well, I’m pretty sure you didn’t find that on the internet movie database.

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Bad-ass librarians in this town

On the Green Line Metro (Between Shaw/Howard University and the Verizon Center):

Two twenty-something women are talking about getting jobs at the D.C. Public Library. One has orange hair and appeared to have shaven one side of her head.

Woman with orange hair to the other: “I applied for a job there (D.C. Public Library), but didn’t get it. Everyone there was all ‘alternative’ … they all had tattoos on their arms. I guess I’m not ‘bad-ass’ enough to work at the Library …”

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Bad pre-date food

A group of guys are talking. One gestures to a member of the group, and says, “Oh she can’t have Chipotle; she got a date tonight.”