Some of you guys are hanging out in all the wrong places, because this week seems to be all about the bros. And to commemorate all you bros out there, we’ve got not one, but two overheards that are this week’s stand-outs.

Overheards of the Week

At Brooklyn Bagel Bakery in Courthouse on Sunday morning.

One bro says to another bro, “Last night was just one bro nights…”

On a Monday afternoon at the 24-hour CVS on the GW campus, a group of about 5 freshman guys, standing in front of the condom section, all talking very loudly for everyone to hear

One guy: “You don’t want to go splitsies on this mega pack of condoms?!”
Another guy: “Dude, I know this guy who put one over his head!”

Overheard in D.C. is the product of your snooping ways. While we fully endorse you eavesdropping, we’re not going to bail you out if you get caught doing it. That being said, listen away and send us what you hear! Include context, if you can.

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See, New Jersey is good for something!

Bar in Arlington, two 30-something professional males discussing the merits of a Bruce Springsteen concert.

Guy 1: Yeah, I’m not really a fan. Don’t do Springsteen.

Guy 2 (In a thick Jersey accent): If you don’t like Springsteen, you’re not American. He’s from the most American state. If it wasn’t for Washington crossing the Delaware from Trenton we’d all be speaking like, English or something.

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Shudder

One man in a buttoned up shirt to a man in shorts and a t-shirt, both 40ish.

“If I ever had to argue in front of Antonin Scalia, I would just imagine him in the changing room of the Washington Sports Club—he is not a pretty man.”

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This is a debate we actually often have

Father and 13ish-aged son are riding the Yellow line en route to a Nationals Game on Sunday afternoon. It’s clear the dad works in the area.

Son: Is it Ronald Reagan National Airport or Reagan Washington National Airport?

Dad: It’s Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport

Son: That’s silly

Dad: Yeah, I don’t even know who Ronald Reagan Washington is.

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And the award for worst human ever goes to…

By the Gallery Place/Chinatown Metro on Friday night. A woman and a man, who clearly know each other are in a heated conversation.

Woman to (presumably homeless) man: “Well all I know is, I have a home and YOU DON’T!”

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Wait, who?

Labor Day, in the checkout line of the Rockville Target, an 8-year-old girl with hipster glasses is chatting with her dad:

“He is my favorite electronic singer, Skillrex.”

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The “real” White House is somewhere else and we’re not telling you where

Friday, August 31, I was running by the White House on Pennsylvania Avenue around 11 a.m. A group of tourists was standing right in front having their pic taken by one of their group. The WH was right behind them.

The one taking the pic says loudly, “This is so much smaller than the White House”.

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Your Mom is SO fat…

At Blackjack bar on Sunday, Sept. 2 around 6 p.m.:

Guy 1: Dude, slow down on the drinks. You’re gonna get a stomach ache.

Guy 2 (obviously drunk): Your MOM is gonna get a stomach ache!

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Umm, yikes

On the X2 bus, a young woman telling a story to her friend about indecent exposure

“We were walking on Kingman Island and a guy walked up to us asking how the trail was with his dick out. We ran away and called 911. But the worst part was that the 911 operator didn’t know where Kingman Island was. She asked me, “What is the cross street?” I was like, “I don’t know! The Anacostia?”

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Empowered feminists vs. normal women?

Three AU/Georgetown/generic sorority types on the 36 bus in Georgetown:

Girl 1: “One of my professors is an unmarried woman and I just don’t LIKE her.”

Girl 2: “Unmarried woman?”

Girl 1: “Yeah, like REALLY unmarried. Like all empowered feminist. I’m just like…settle down like a normal woman.”

Girl 2: “Hahaha. You should tell her that. ‘Settle down like a normal woman. Love, Katie’ “

Girl 1: “Ugh, she went to like, Harvard Business School and talks about it alllllllllll the time. And she calls it HBS. So annoying.”

Girl 2 and 3: *nodding in agreement*

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When you know you’ve lived in Washington for too long

In the front yard of a family home in South Arlington, two kids around 8 years-old are sword fighting with sticks.

One kid to the other, “You’re not on the VIP list!”

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They have patches for that

Mid-flight from DCA to Tampa. Woman in her 50s wonders up to front of cabin and asks flight attendent, “Can they stop the plane so I can get out and have a cigarette?”

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Sigh

This was on the Red Line towards Shady Grove. A tourist guy and his quasi-local friend were talking about the Holocaust Museum and the cards with information about a person from that time.

Tourist Guy: “So what happened to your guy?”

Quasi Local: “All four times I’ve gone, I’ve died”

Tourist Guy: “Wow, sucks to be you.”

Quasi Local: “Yeah, it’s unlucky.”

(Same guys, same train ride)

Tourist Guy: “What’s the Naval Observatory?”

Quasi Local: “Um….ch….it’s…a big satellite, um telescope…um, it’s weather headquarters for the area. Doppler. “(pause, then excitedly) “I think the head of the Marines lives there!”