Remember the 90s? There were lots of bad fashion choices, plus Vanilla Ice, Bill Clinton and Crystal Pepsi. And some other stuff we forgot.
Overheard of the Week
Saturday night at Regal Theatres at Gallery Place during a screening of Looper:
During the commercials before the previews, someone has a laser pointer on the screen.
As the crowd gets silent, someone yells: “PUT YOUR FUCKING LASER POINTER AWAY! THIS ISN’T THE NINETIES!”
After the jump, sexy times, dating and interns making with the jokes.
As always, Overheard in D.C. relies on you to send in the stuff you hear! Make sure you tell us who, where, and in what situation you heard it, otherwise it doesn’t make any sense. And please use our special Overheard in D.C. email address!
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Aww, yeah, give her some sweet, poorly-written lovin’
In SW DC at a public library:
Portly, 60-something-year-old man: “Do you have the book Fifty Shades of Grey?“
Librarian: “Yes, but you’ll be 70th on the waiting list.”
Man: “It must be popular.”
Librarian: “Do you know what the book is about, sir?”
Man: “Not at all. It’s my wife who wants me to read it.”
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Not up on hygiene or current events
Morning on L Street:
A group of bike messengers are discussing a motorcade after it passed through.
Bike Messenger 1: “Vice President, yep, that was the VP motorcade. Not the President.”
Others messengers nodding in agreement.
Bike Messenger 2: “Dick Cheney? You mean that was Cheney?”
Bike Messenger 1: “No, man. Just…no.”
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Zing
Last Friday, afternoon rush hour at the G2 bus stop at 20th and P streets NW:
Man: [Gesturing to Woman’s cigarette] “Those things’ll kill you.”
Woman: [Gesturing to Man’s Taco Bell to-go bag] “So will those.”
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Hill humor is the worst
A group of seven interns cram into an elevator about 8 p.m.:
Girl 1, looking at the elevator license/certificate: “Oh good, all up to date.”
Girl 2: “You’re all about regulation lately. What’s the deal?”
Girl 1: “I must be channeling Sebelius or something.”
Other interns laugh.
Girl 1: “Oh you know, I just love taxing and regulating things.”
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Doing something nice for the community always makes me so angry
At the D.C. Building Industry Association Community Improvement Day at the Congress Heights Recreation Center:
A large group of 20-somethings, co-workers from Arlington, are planting a new flower bed. One girl is kneeling on the ground planting a flower.
Guy 1: “Hey [Girl], are those True Religion jeans you have on? Aren’t those really nice jeans?”
Girl: (looks over and then goes back to planting)
Guy 2: “Hey [Guy 1], why are you looking at [Girl’s] jeans?”
Guy 1: “You have a problem with that?”
Guy 2: “Yes, I do want to make something of it.”
Girl: (finishes planting the flower, ignoring both)
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What does that even mean? Also, an awesome way to influence clients, bud
Last Monday during happy hour at the bar at Morton’s in Bethesda:
A businessman in his 40s is entertaining two potential clients. They’ve all had a few drinks, but most of their discussion blends in with the background noise until the businessman announces loudly and emphatically, “She is, like, *super* Jewish, and has this *SUPER* Jewish cell phone.” (followed by some unfortunately unintelligible qualification)
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When the 1 percent takes public transit
An elderly couple are waiting in line for the Circulator near Nationals Park last week after the Nats clinched the division:
There’s a long line, and we’ve been waiting a maximum of 12 minutes. They’re discussing the pros and cons of public transportation.
Man: “When you go to the theater, sometimes you have to wait 15 minutes for a train after the show! Makes you wonder whether having Metro is worth it.”
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They mass-murdered with a certain panache
Outside the Tenleytown Metro station:
Man in business attire walking quickly out of the Metro station says as passing by: “Say what you will about the Bolsheviks, at least they had a little class.”
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Dating is so hard!
Two 20-something males on the Red line towards Glenmont Monday night:
After discussing guy 1’s failed attempt to pick up “the prettiest girl in my LSAT class” they had this exchange.
Guy 1: “I don’t think I’ll be seeing the girl I’ve been texting with anymore.”
Guy 2: “Why not?”
Guy 1: “She texted me the other night that she could come over, but no sex. I texted back, ‘Meh.’ She wrote that I was free to call someone else. I haven’t heard from her since.”
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Can you get a cream for that?
Section 230, way the hell up there. A man in his late 20s or early 30s stands up and says to the party next to him:
“I have to warn you, my Natitude is contagious like an STD.”
