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As inane as calls to break up the union might sound, the White House plans to issue a response to the hundreds of thousands of citizens who have affixed their names to petitions calling for the secession of their states.

Since DCist reported on Monday that in the wake of last weeks presidential election petitions are popping on the White House’s “We the People” page calling for various states to secede from the rest of the nation, all 50 states now have a disunion petition of their own. Several have cleared the 25,000-signature bar required to merit an official response. Texas, Louisiana, Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama and North Carolina are all waiting on an answer to whether the Obama administration will permit them to withdraw from the United States and form their own sovereign governments. And with petitions remaining online for 30-day periods, it’s quite likely a few more states will reach that plateau.

But, as unlikely as it is that the federal government would allow Texas—with nearly 109,000 signatures—or any other state to cast off, those petitions will get reviewed by White House officials, a spokesman tells DCist. The White House will not comment on the particulars of any individual petition until it issues its response, but come December 9, when Texas’ and other states’ petitions expires, it will be weighing in on secession.

Still, in the wake of the secession requests, there has been a rash of equally dopey petitions, though many have been removed. At various points over the past few days, there have been petitions compelling President Obama to use his influence to reinstate a sports radio host in Columbus, Ohio who was fired for writing a threatening tweet; appoint Batman as defense secretary; name Sylvester Stallone attorney general; and grant an honorary U.S. Senate seat to Virginia write-in candidate Hank the Cat. All have been deleted.

Perhaps most riotous, though, was a short-lived petition yesterday that called for the anti-tax activist Grover Norquist to be shackled in chains, attached to a public pillory and subjected to people punching him “in the dick.” It too, died a quick death.

The White House spokesman pointed to its terms of participation for the “We the People” project, which was launched in 2011. Petitions threatening violence or asking for the endorsement of specific political candidates—cats included, apparently—are prohibited:

You also agree that your user-generated account information will not contain threats of unlawful violence or harm to any individual or group; obscene, vulgar, or lewd material; defamatory or fraudulent statements; terms commonly understood to constitute profanity or abusive or degrading slurs or epithets; information invading an individual’s privacy; and information that if published would violate criminal law or give rise to civil liability.

…

You agree not to create petitions that fall outside this limited purpose—for example, petitions that advertise or call for the endorsement or purchase of commercial goods or services, petitions that expressly urge the support or opposition of candidates for elected office, petitions that do not address the current or potential actions or policies of the federal government, or petitions that address a topic not included in We the People at the time the petition was created.

Still, the fun petitions endure. As of this writing, there is a new petition calling for the dissolution of the common-law judicial system and replacing it with a martial regime in which judges answering to a “Hall of Justice” mete out justice as they see necessary while roaming the country on motorcycle. It already has more than 300 signatures.