Round two of DC Rollergirls‘ seventh season is done and dusted with no big surprises. The bouts last Saturday saw Scare Force One top the Cherry Blossom Bombshells while the Majority Whips edged out the DC DemonCats.

Scare Force One 287 – 142 Cherry Blossom Bombshells
By Special Correspondent, Lady Burn Johnson

The first bout of the night was a repeat of last May’s championship, in which Scare Force One handily dispatched the Cherry Blossom Bombshells by 124 points. While this meeting at first looked to be anyone’s game with an opening run of neck-and-neck jammer races, the bout was decided on some major powerjams, in which a combination of skill and luck sent Scare Force home with the 285-142 victory.

Marion Barrycuda got things started in Scare Force’s favor in the first jam, going ahead 9-0 while blockers Soledad and Deadly Lamarr kept the Bombshells’ Yankee Scandal tied up in the pack. It didn’t take long for the Bombshells to strike back, though, with two evenly matched jams that brought things to 14-7. Ten minutes into the half, Scare Force got their first chance to blow the lead open when new Bombshell Haulin’ Aussie (a transfer from Northern Virginia’s East Coast Devastation) was sent to the box, freeing Baby Daddy (herself a transfer from New Orleans’ Big Easy Rollergirls) to pick up 20 points, bringing the score to 44-7. With Aussie still in the box, Marion Barrycuda took advantage of starting the next jam unopposed—and some offensive help from teammate Whips & Pains—to put up 14 more points for 58-7.

Once both teams’ jammers were back on the track, the score again remained virtually unchanged for several jams, until the Bombshells got a powerjam opportunity of their own. With Condoleezza Slice the only Scare Force blocker on the track, Hook N’ SlasHer was able to power through five scoring passes to bring the tally to 61-33. The next major jump in the score came at the six-minute mark, when Yankee Scandal again headed to the box and Marion Barrycuda racked up 23 points in her absence—but because Cuda wasn’t lead jammer, Scandal was able to pick up 9 points of her own when she returned to the track, leaving Scare Force up 91-42.

The final jam of the half looked to be a momentum shift for the Bombshells, as Badass Maggie kept Marion Barrycuda stalled at the back of the pack long enough to allow Jaminy Kricket to pick up two grand slams, but Kricket was ultimately sent out on a penalty before she could call the jam off, and Cuda piled up 19 points of her own before the clock expired, putting Scare Force up by nearly a hundred points at the half, 151-52.

The Bombshells came into the second period with noticeably tighter defense, but within the first 30 seconds of play, Yankee Scandal again found herself heading to the penalty box, while Marion Barrycuda dodged the crushing hits of Artemis Conduct and Guantanamo Babe to bring the score to 166-52. Scandal found her redemption in the next jam when Sharp Shredder visited the penalty box along with two of her blockers; she was able to push past Soledad and Whips & Pains to make it 166-76. That jam seemed to give the Bombshells the momentum they needed, and they took advantage of light Scare Force packs to nudge the score up to 166-86.

The deadly combination of Soledad and Velocityraptor put a stop to that, however, pummeling The Ultimate Whorrior repeatedly while Acourta Pain added 9 points to her team’s lead. Penalty confusion didn’t help the Bombshells’ case; an after-the-whistle call on The Ultimate Whorrior left Chinese Cheker skating unopposed, and she widened the scoring gap to 198-90.

With the score at 209-97, a rotation of jammers through the penalty box worked out in Scare Force’s favor; despite having only one or two blockers on the track the entire jam, Acourta Pain managed to pull a 15-9 win over The Ultimate Whorrior to bring the tally to 224-105. With just about 10 minutes left to play, the Bombshells chipped into the lead again, with Ivana Tripabitch holding Acourta Pain long enough to let Yankee Scandal make two scoring passes; when Pain was sent to the box, Scandal ultimately netted 29 points, to the delight of the cheering crowd.

But two subsequent back-to-back box trips for Scandal erased that dent, and the night’s biggest powerjam went to Sharp Shredder, who picked up a whopping 34 points for her team to bring the score to 263-138. As the clock wound down, a pileup of penalties on both sides meant neither team could make any more major inroads, and Scare Force claimed victory with a final score of 285-142.

Majority Whips 176 – 142 DC DemonCats
By Special Correspondent, Velocityraptor

The second bout was another rematch from May, with the scrappy DC DemonCats faced off against the persistent Majority Whips. Both teams sustained significant skater losses over the off-season, but both had also picked up All-Star level talent and some exciting new draft picks, so there was no telling at the opening whistle which way the deck was stacked.

Within the first 15 minutes, however, the Whips launched an opening 64-4 salvo that simply proved insurmountable despite the solid walls and cohesive teamwork of the DemonCats. Whips jammer Frightmare scared the pants off the defense with a 30-0 jam and was ably backed by a dedicated jammer rotation of Dual Hitizen, Slam Grier, Fierce Compredator and Most Valuable Jammer Nasty Pelosi. Meanwhile, the DemonCats, down key jammer Nina Ninja to injury, looked to the indefatigable captain and superwoman Jersey Jill for their points, along with Most Valuable Jammer Ellen Degenerate and newcomer Kung Pow Kitten.

With 11 minutes to go in the half, the Whips were sitting on a 79-23 lead and showed no signs of slowing, despite the tremendous blocking power of DemonCats Bad Asset, Bruisehilda, Ms. Judgment and Most Valuable Blocker Hoova Dayum. The ‘Cats managed to nudge things up to 85-37; with 2:40 left in the half, the Whips’ Nasty Pelosi toed the line against the formidable Jersey Jill. Within seconds, Nasty picked up her fourth minor and found herself in the box, only to return a minute later to commit a major track cut, leaving Jill unopposed for nearly two full minutes. She picked up 19 points for the DemonCats to close out the half hot on the Whips’ tails at 85-56.

Slam Grier started the second half off with a crowd-pleasing apex jump that nabbed her a quick four points. Kung Pow Kitten, meanwhile, was left to the mercy of the green machine behind Grreen Eggs and Wham, Frak You, Spank Erin and Nellie Fly. Penalty trouble for her left the track wide open for Frightmare and Dual Hitizen to run the score up to 136-73 with 17 minutes left in the game. Undeterred, DemonCat Hoova Dayum picked up the star to showcase her speed-skating background and powered through the Whip newcomers ZipBlok and Surly Jackson to add a four-point pass. Frightmare returned to the jam line once again and punched untouched through the DemonCat walls of Vicious Von Doom, Wilhelmina Scream, and Ovary Action to bring the score to 148-77 with 13 minutes remaining.

With Nasty Pelosi boxed again for four minors, the tireless Jersey Jill put up a flawless 25-point run to break the century mark and bring the DemonCats within 41 points of the Whips, but victory remained just out of reach. In the next-to-last jam, Wilhelmina Scream achieved lead jammer, and the DemonCats managed to call a quick timeout with just two seconds left on the period clock. When the dust cleared, however, Slam Grier twinkle-toe’d her way to lead to run out the clock and solidify the final score at 176-142.

This brings the Majority Whips to 1-1 for the season; they’ll face the Cherry Blossom Bombshells (also 1-1) at the D.C. Armory on December 8, while the DC DemonCats drop to 0-2 and will go up against Scare Force One (2-0) in December’s double-header.

There’s barely time to breathe before the next bout is upon us! So mark your calendars for Saturday December 8 at 4:00 p.m. back at the Armory, as the Whips face the Bombshells first, followed by SF1 versus the DemonCats. All the details, including ticket information, can be found on the DC Rollergirls website.