Photo by ep_jhu

Conversation is an art form, and while some people are good at it, other can be downright awful. They can be crass, judgmental and feel far too comfortable with their conversation companion far too early. And as the conversation below demonstrates, they can sometimes say things that just put an end to the conversation altogether.

Overheard of the Week

Sunday night before MLK, Jr. Day, a man a woman who don’t know each other strike up a conversation while waiting in line for the Prince/Outkast dance party at the Black Cat

Woman: Do you know the DJ here?
Man: No, I’m visiting from Chicago. I used to work in D.C. like five years ago, though.
Woman: Oh, what did you do?
Man: I’m a lawyer.
Woman: Gross, I hate lawyers. Don’t you just feel disgusting?
Man: Uhh…no?

We’re only as good at publishing a weekly Overheard in D.C. as you are at eavesdropping and sending in what you hear. So go forth and snoop, and email us the funniest snippets you pick up along the way.

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Hill Wisdom

Some staffer bros are at a post-inauguration cookout and discussing the keys to media attention.

One staffer: “They’re always looking to write dog bites man stories. You just need to bite the dog. Man bites dog.”

Also, in an embarrassed voice: “I admit it. I’d work for McConnell if he asked nicely.”

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Wanna Go Out?

At the University of Maryland, two students are standing in a hallway looking at a noticeboard. They are standing close to each other, like a couple.

Boy: “Oooh a speed dating event!”
Girl: [sounding offended]: “Hey!”

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Too Much Information

10:30 a.m., on the L2 bus near Farragut.

Woman, talking to bus driver my whole ride: “I know how to play basketball, swim, [names a bunch of sports], and how to shoot pool…have you ever played 9 ball? I didn’t know how to do any of that until I went to prison…”

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The Subway is Soooooo Much Better in New York

A Metro attendant trying to explain to a confused tourist why his NY subway card wouldn’t open the turnstiles.

“Sir, that’s New York. It won’t work here…Sir, that’s New York. Sir! That’s New York!”

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The Blood of Christ

Last night, Capitol Hill liquor store, two 30’s females, one buying liquor and reacting to the high price with, “Jesus Christ that’s expensive!’. The other responds with ‘you can’t say Jesus Christ when you’re buying liquor, only wine.”

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Pause for Dramatic (Drunk) Effect

On the Red Line, heading into D.C., early Saturday evening. Male twenty-something, sounding slightly drunk and definitely very condescending and loud.

“What’s at the zoo? Things I like. (Dramatic pause). Like animals.”

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Donald Trump Owns the Basilica?

Pointing at Old Post Office, Pennsylvania Avenue and 13th Street NW

High school-aged tourist (in a rather know-it-all voice): “I think that’s the National Cathedral.”
Teacher: “No, that’s the Basilica.”