Photo by andertho

Overheard in D.C. is one of my favorite DCist features. It’s not just the things that are overheard that are often hilarious, but rather how they are said. Some of the things stand on their own, but sometimes it’s the context that matters: you only get a snippet of a conversation, and without anything else around it, that snippet just makes the joke itself. This week’s Overheard of the Week is in that category; we don’t really know what happened, but leaving it to our imagination is really the best part.

Overheard of the Week

Metro Mystery

On a Blue Line train departing Metro Center towards Largo at the tail end of Thursday’s evening rush.

The train operator broadcasts to the entire train, “Miss, you cannot do that on the train.” Then, after a few seconds, more emphatically, “MISS. You CANNOT DO THAT ON THE TRAIN.”

We never found out what she was doing.

We’re only as good at publishing a weekly Overheard in D.C. as you are at eavesdropping and sending in what you hear. So go forth and snoop, and email us the funniest snippets you pick up along the way.

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Good Jeans

Two 20-somethings walk into Jack Rose late on a Friday night.

One says to the other: “Ah, man, I wish you would have told me we were coming here, I wouldn’t have worn my Tommy Hilfiger jeans!”

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Hard Truths

Friday morning rush on the Blue Line from Capitol South towards Franconia. Mother, father, two toddlers, a stroller and luggage, on their way to DCA.

Toddler: Metro isn’t very fun. The airplane is way more fun.

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Yes, We Can

Montessori six year old child to his dad at inauguration, “Dad, do you think a white man could ever be president?”

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Oh, Interns

At a party on H St NE last weekend.

A White House intern is telling a group about an encounter she had during the first week of her internship with “an old white-haired guy” outside of the West Wing who was surrounded by “FBI” agents:

WH intern: “…. and I later found out that it was Joe Biden!”
(everyone stares at her in complete shock that a WH intern was laughing at the fact that she did not know what the vice-president looked like, too shocked to even catch that she confused the Secret Service with the FBI)

Guy: “I’m going to give you some advice, and I really suggest you listen to me: never tell that story again.”

At a later point in the conversation, the embarrassed and flustered intern is trying to defend herself.

WH intern: “Well have you ever seen Joe Biden?”
Guy: “Yes, and I knew it was him because he looks exactly the same in person as he does on TV.”

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No-Pants Party

Saturday evening on GW’s campus. Two college students are standing on the corner of 23rd and G Streets NW.

Guy 1: Are you coming to the house tonight man?
Guy 2: I don’t know. When I got there last night, nobody had pants on. What was going on?

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Independent

Sunday morning breakfast at Potomac Yard IHOP. Two late twenty-something guys discussing the ladies they had met the night before.

Guy 1: She’s just too independent…like in a way as a single girl she’d sleep around a lot…like a guy would….and I just don’t trust that.
Guy 2 nods as he sips his coffee.

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More Context, Please

Rainy Sunday afternoon, on Pennsylvania Ave SE.

Extremely tall and bodacious man in drag is smoking outside of a liquor store, and talking on the phone: “If I’d answered the door? Hellllllllll noooooooooo. I’d be arrested and put in jail for assault.”

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Like Yesterday

I was sitting at the Bank of America at Vermont Avenue and L Street NW and another woman (maybe 30s or 40s) is waiting for someone to talk to her about mortgages. She’s agitated at, I suppose, the customer service people she’s talked to on the phone.

The young receptionist is trying to help her talk to a mortgage representative and asks, “How long can you wait?”

Woman says “I’m a lawyer, so like yesterday.”

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Bad Decisions

Saturday night circa 11 p.m., in line for the bathroom at Saint-Ex.

Two late-20s guys getting into line. Guy 1 is texting and says to Guy 2: “Saint Ex, the patron saint of making bad decisions.”

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Stabby

In a relatively not-crowded Courthouse Metro stop, waiting for the Metro.

One white man to another: “It feels very stabby in here.”