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Parenthood is a daunting prospect. One child is surely a hassle; two children seems nearly unmanageable. And twins? Telling apart identical twins is difficult enough as it is, but what about when they start picking on each other. If a child insults his or her twin, is he or she automatically speaking in reflexive terms?

Overheard of the Week

A woman with two young girls in tow stands outside the Columbia Heights Metro station. The two girls are identically dressed and their mother is overburdened with school accoutrements. Naturally, as young siblings are wont to do, they are bickering.

Girl 1: “You’re ugly!”
Mother: “You can’t say that!”
Girl 1: “Why?”
Woman: “Because you’re twins. It means that you’re calling yourself ugly, too.”
Girl 1: “Why?”
Woman: “It just doesn’t make sense.”

Overheard in D.C. is only as good as your well-honed ears pick up those ribald, off-color, and horrible things your fellow denizens say. Hear anything juicy? Send it to us post-haste and laugh yourself to the bank. [Editor’s note: No actual money is involved in the Overheard process, unless you want to go to the bank and withdraw some cash to send to your favorite local news website.]

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Don’t Finish That Sentence, Bro

In the produce section of the Foggy Bottom Whole Foods Market, three male students are picking up items to take to a potluck dinner:

Student 1: “Ooh! They have whole coconuts!”
Student 2: “I don’t know where I’d put a coconut.”
Student 3: “I do. First, you….”

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Cave of the Bottomless Margarita

Tuesday night at the U Street Metro station, a man in his 20s talks geographic differences with his date:

Man: “I mean, its basically exactly like D.C. It’s just that in Virginia, everything is more spread out. We still have all the cool things to do.”
Woman: “Oh my God! Have you been to like, Lauriol Caverns or whatever?”

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Purple Prudishness

In a Foggy Bottom bar, the day after the Super Bowl. ESPN’s coverage of the game is on the TV.

Guy at the bar: “So, Ray Lewis kills a guy, but Joe Flacco curses and that’s what everyone’s upset about?”

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Upward Mobility

Two young women, presumably George Washington University students, walk into Founding Farmers for lunch:

Student 1: I should have worn a suit.
Student 2: Why, so we can pretend we have jobs?

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Laundromats of the Developing World

A 20-something man and an older woman wait for a train at the Friendship Heights Metro station. The man has a suitcase. They’re headed to Union Station to catch a train.

Man: “In fact, I think that’s what they’re famous for worldwide. Yeah, Kenya has good laundry facilities. Costa Rica, not so much.”
Woman nods head agreeably.

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The Truth

Two obviously drunk women ride a D6 Metrobus:

“Vodka is like a war crime. In your mouth.”

Editor’s note: Word.

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Smart Kid

Friday morning rush on the blue line from Capitol South towards Franconia. A mother, father, two toddlers, a stroller, and all their luggage board a rush hour Blue Line train at the Capitol South Metro station headed toward toward Franconia-Springfield.

Toddler: “Metro isn’t very fun. The airplane is way more fun.”