Let’s be honest: Most dance clubs are the absolute worst. They are glorified meat markets where people have carte blanche to touch other humans without permission. They are loud, crowded and sometimes a whole lot of fun. Wait, what was that grinch-y? Yeah, that’s right: When the mood is right, and the club isn’t awful, a night of dancing can be a cathartic release from a Hellish work week. Below, DCist provides eight dance clubs or dance nights that aren’t awful.
Photo by Jen Morrissey.
TROPICALIA: In the prestigious tradition of exciting new adventures hidden in the unlikeliest of locations, you basically get to Tropicalia by venturing underneath the Subway sandwich shop on U Street NW. Just walk down the stairs, following irresistibly kinetic musical beats, onto the darkened floor, and lose yourself for a couple hours. Tropicalia opened almost a year ago, and has gained momentum by filling a need for someplace that features Afropop, Soul and Latin music (via live bands and DJs) on a consistent, regular basis. And yes, there are lots of pretty people there and they do have a bar, but people do come to really dance — not just pose in fancy clothes. If dancing in your own style with your own swagger is your mission: Consider this your new home. As Fritz Hahn put it in the Washington Post, “You might hear raw soul from Chicago, a Brazilian samba band, a New Orleans brass band or high-energy bubu from Sierra Leone.” — Alexis Hauk
Tropicalia is located at 2001 U Street NW.
U STREET MUSIC HALL: It shouldn’t be a surprise that U Street Music Hall is one of the best dance clubs in the city because it’s owned by one of the best DJs/producers in the city, Will Eastman. As one-third of the house and electronic group Volta Bureau, Eastman certainly has an ear to ground on the best underground house and EDM acts, and often books up-and-comers months before they blow up. But more impressive is how well curated U Hall is when it’s not occupied by national touring acts. It’s become something of a central hub for local EDM artists to showcase their talents to a packed house. The artists on local dance-music label Future Times Records—which include Beautiful Swimmers, Protect-U, and Eastman’s Volta Bureau—perform regularly, and it’s rare that there’s a night where the club isn’t packed with perpetual bodies in motion. — Matt Cohen
U Street Music Hall is located at 1115 U Street NW.
GATE 54: Confession: I don’t know how to dance to anything that isn’t or wasn’t once popular on the radio. What is this newfangled “electronic” music the kids are into these days? If you also have no idea what your body should do to those beats, two step your butt on over to Cafe Saint-Ex’s Gate 54, where no one knows your name (thankgod), but everyone knows the words. The space itself is in the basement of the popular cafe and resembles a middle school dance, what with the benches lining opposite walls and all the sweaty bodies. But it’s Gate 54’s lack of a cover charge that will really jet you back to the days of free, unadulterated fun. — Stephanie Dinkmeyer
Cafe Saint-Ex is located at 184714th Street NW.
FLASH: I have three words for you: Photo booth entrance. While the first floor of Flash looks like a completely normal bar, in the back is a photo booth that transports you to the dance floor. OK, so it takes you to a staircase that transports you (via your legs) to a dance floor. It’s still a really fun way to begin a night of dancing. Plus, free photos! (At right, the author’s free photo strip from a recent night out.) There’s no shortage of flashing lights and loud bass on the second floor, so leave your cranky pants at home. — Sarah Anne Hughes
Flash is located at 645 Florida Avenue NW.
CTRL: CTRL is the little party that could. Like a lot of alternative queer parties, the over one-year-old party got its start at the small venue Dalak. But this past January, it made the move to Cobalt, securing a place in the schedule every last Saturday of the month. Hosted by DJs Devon, Brett, Adam and Jeff, the party splits the two floors of Cobalt into zones, with the downstairs being more chill and mingle while upstairs is dancing the night away. Each party has had various themes and guest DJs and a host of unforgettable moments like the tweaking dancers, cake and champagne on the party’s first birthday. This week’s theme is Back 2 Skool and it is sure to be a killer time. — Rohan Mahadevan
CTRL is every last Saturday at Colbalt (1639 R St NW).
THE JAM CELLAR: From 9 to 11:30 p.m. every Tuesday, the Jam Cellar hosts a swing night that is young, hot and fun, with a different DJ every week. Sorry, no live big band — but the acoustics are great. Plus, since it’s held upstairs in an 18th century restored mansion across from Meridian Hill Park, when you need a break (it does get quite hot and sweaty), you can put a pause on all the lindy-hopping and go out on the balcony for some fresh air with a view of the city. With classes for an hour beforehand (starting at 8 p.m.), you have no excuse not to give this a try. Another reason newbies are genuinely welcome: When the floor is kicking, more experienced dancers will obligingly grab you for an instructional spin around the floor. Trust me, there are no wallflowers. Just lots and lots of whirling and do wah-do wah-do wah-ing. Bonus! There’s frozen popsicle snacks. — Alexis Hauk
The Jam Cellar is located at Josephine Butler Parks Center, 2437 15th Street NW.
Photo by anokarina.
HAYDEE’S: No matter what city you’re in and no matter how “cool” you think the place is, it’s nearly impossible to find any dance club immune to whatever the latest Top 40 virus is. Think you can escape “Blurred Lines” and “(I Don’t Care) I Love It” this summer? Yeah, how’s that working out for you? But, if you happen to find yourself stumbling around Mt. Pleasant on a Friday or Saturday night, looking to cut rug to some tunes that won’t make you want to blow up the Internet, Haydee’s is the place to be. On the right night, you’ll find yourself there for one of the club’s famed TNT DJ nights, which spins old-school heavy funk, reggae, and soul until last call. You won’t find a motionless body anywhere in the club on one of those nights. — Matt Cohen
Haydee’s is located at 3102 Mt. Pleasant Street NW.
COALBOX: DC9’s Liberation Dance Party was one of the most fun alternative parties in the city until it all came to an end at the start of the year. Taking its place, however, is the new DC9 Friday night jam, Coalbox. The major difference between the two parties is Coalbox is free. Just like its predecessor the vibe is unpretentious and extremely fun. The constant stream of indie videos is a nice change of speed from the average D.C. dance night. If you are looking for a fun place to go that is not too packed to dance, Coalbox is the spot. — Rohan Mahadevan
Coalbox is every Friday at DC9 (1940 9th St NW).
