Photo by philliefan99

It doesn’t matter what the calendar says or how early Starbucks starts selling Pumpkin Spice Lattes: Fall isn’t fall until the weather says so. And according to the latest meteorological readings, the weather isn’t ready to let Mr. Autumn out of the bag just yet.

The Post reports that Wednesday’s weather forecast is going to be hot. Not just hot, it’s going to really fucking hot.

Here in Washington, high Tuesday climb to near 90 but it’s Wednesday when models simulate the heat’s climax. Low 90s for highs are close to a given, with mid- to even high 90s a possibility.

The late-season heat is due to a “strong area of upper level high pressure, or heat dome, is building in the central U.S.” Already it’s turned the midwest into a microwave, setting weather records across the area, and that could also be the case in Washington.

The hottest day of 2013 so far has been 97 (from July 17). How ironic it would be for us to best that mark, in September?

In order for Wednesday’s heat to be record-breaking, we’ll need the temperature to reach 98 (from 1983). I’d give that one-in-four odds.

Ugh, that just sounds miserable. But don’t get too bummed out! Looks like we’ll be back to the mid-70s by Friday, just in time to enjoy pumpkin beer in seasonably cool weather.