Photo via Shutterstock.Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Some of us are sure our mothers love us, while many are left to wonder. But for a hopefully very small minority, there’s no mystery that you’ve ruined the life of the woman who brought you into the world.
Overheard of the Week
At Long Bridge Park in Arlington on the stairs between the parking lot and the fields:
Mom to approximately six-year-old child: “Happy? No I haven’t been happy for over six years.”
After the jump, cool domes, unhappy Safeway customers, assholes, and more.
Overheard in D.C. depends on you to hear and send in the good stuff. Make sure you send them to our special Overheard in D.C. email address and tell us all the info: who was speaking, to whom, where, in what context, and so on.
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It’s near the coolest, most awesome obelisk!
In front of the U.S. Capitol building:
20-something woman leading a Segway tour: “And then they decided they needed to build the coolest, most awesome dome ever!”
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Very exclusive stations
On the Red Line toward Glenmont:
Two 40-something women are examining a map.
Woman 1: “Two exits? It must be centrally located.”
Woman 2: “That’s my kind of place!”
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Everyone disagrees
During a conversation with an out-of-town friend:
When discussing her family’s downtown adventures the day before, her response when asked what she thought of the work going on at the Mall was: “I really don’t like what they’ve done to the Washington Monument. They should have left it the way it was.”
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Don’t sue us, Larry!
At a recent citizens’ association meeting in Alexandria:
A 50-ish woman and man are talking before the start of the meeting.
Woman: “What do you think of Larry Summers dropping out?”
Man: “I think it’s great. I’ve met him. He’s an asshole.”
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Go on…
At a soccer game at an undisclosed Arlington location, sitting on the sidelines of the first game of the season:
Mom 1: “Hi! How was your summer?”
Mom 2: “I had a hysterectomy, so it was … interesting.”
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They let dogs into bars?
At Nellie’s Sports Bar:
Two muscular guys in tank tops who have moderately hairy chests are talking. Guy one is ordering a drink at the bar and his friend grabs his attention to point out an equally hairy, muscular guy also in a tank top.
Guy 2: “Did you see that guy that just walked in?”
Guy 1: “Yeah, I know. Woof!”
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It’s for the best
At the Safeway in Georgetown on a Sunday afternoon:
A young urbanite with dark-rimmed glasses is storming ahead of clueless store clerk down the ethnic aisle.
Urbanite: “I just don’t think it’s going to be down this aisle. Wheatberry is a special item. It’s, like, an ancient grain.”
Clerk: “Well I can try to help you find it. I’ve never really heard of any of those ingredients.”
Urbanite: “I’m just going to have to go to Whole Foods.”
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Makes sense
Overheard on 18th Street in Adams Morgan:
Two guys in their early 20s, both in khaki pants and button-up shirts, are walking together. One guy to the other: “Of course, I want ugly girls to ask me out. I just don’t want to say yes to them.”