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Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.

With the holidays underway, many people are returning home or joining their families elsewhere. Sometimes that’s stressful or a pain in the butt, but sometimes it may result in advice. Below, an example.

Overheard of the Week

Near 17th and P Streets NW:

Well dressed 30-something male on his cell phone: “As my dad used to say, ‘You’ve made your bed, now you have to fuck whoever climbs into it.'”

After the jump, strange office cultures, public servants, and little kids.

As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where and in what context, too.

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Probably not a good sign

In a government office building in Crystal City:

Four co-workers are in an elevator on their way back from lunch.

Woman: “…especially after watching The Office.”
Man: “We could make our own Office, but it would have to be on cable.”
They all laugh. As they get off the elevator, the woman comments: “You mean, our Office would have to be on premium channels?”

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Surely this has nothing to do with Congress’ approval rating

On the Green line between Petworth and Columbia Heights:

Two bro-ish guys in their early-20s, one wearing a high school lacrosse sweatshirt and the other wearing a Vineyard Vines shirt, are talking.

Bro 1: “Seriously though, it’s the best set up ever. You work a few years doing whatever, spend a few months working hard on the campaign trail, then once you’re elected to Congress you never work another day in your life. I’m essentially going to retire before I’m 39.”

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Maybe they’re just going to share? I hope?

Near Georgetown’s Five Guys:

Man to his lady friend: “Can I just get a burger and you just get some fries?”

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Game, daughter

At the National Museum of the American Indian’s Ceramicos exhibition:

Dad and daughter looking at a case full of jewelry.

Daughter: “I see a gold necklace.”
Dad: “I see a monkey pendant.”
Daughter: “I see a gold necklace.”
Dad: “I see a monkey pendant.”
Daughter: “I see a gold necklace.”
Dad: “I see a monkey pendant, infinity!”
Daughter pauses, crestfallen, and quietly says: “…Okay.”

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Yes, they are

On a 32 Metro bus, 11 a.m. on a Sunday morning:

Two girls, apparently Georgetown freshmen, are talking.

Girl 1: “Apparently, I guess gangs are still a thing? On my trip to Africa this summer, this girl was like, ‘You’re from New York – how do you not know about gangs?’ And I’m like, ‘Yeah, but I’m not from the part with gangs.'”

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Maybe he wasn’t screaming enough for her to recognize him

On a Metro train at Silver Spring:

A woman is relaying a story to a friend on her phone.

Woman: “So this guy comes up to her register and she asks for a name for his order. And it’s Rahm Emanuel. And she didn’t know who he was. Because *Alice is stupid like that.”

*Name changed to protect the allegedly stupid.

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And finally, an old standard

Sitting in Union Station:

An older lady notices another lady wearing a head wrap.

Lady 1: “Oh! Are you from Africa?”
Lady 2 after a five-second pause: “N-no. No. I’m from New Jersey.”