Did you read former White House and national politics reporter Sam Youngman’s obnoxiously titled Politico article yet? You know, the one titled “Take This Town and Shove It” (told you it was obnoxious) that paints D.C. as a cesspool of self-inflating egos and power-hungry careerists? No? Good, don’t. It’ll probably annoy you. But I’ll sum it up for you in case you’re curious: Obnoxious White House reporter has self-inflated ego, does mean things and treats people poorly as he works his way up the journalism ladder, realizes he hates what he’s become, has grand revelations and moves to Kentucky to work at struggling newspaper.
Of course, Youngman—like many a Politico writer before him—is writing about a Washington very different than what most Washingtonians know. He writes about living in his studio apartment in Eastern Market and pounding back whiskey and “other harder substances” at different Capital Hill bars frequented mostly by other Hill staffers. Another prime example of the abrupt distinction between “Washington” and “D.C.” Or, to put it another way: The difference between the city portrayed in House of Cards than the city portrayed in, say, D.C. Cab.
Anyway, I digress.
Since it’s the holidays and whatnot, Youngman’s article got us thinking: What are good gifts to get the person in your life who is sick of This Town but can’t escape it? Well, here are a few suggestions:
Hiking boots: Beyond the political jungle that is The Hill, D.C. is actually a pretty gorgeous city, with plenty of lush, green fauna. Rock Creek Park is a particularly nice gem of our city, and great for a short day hike. Beyond the borders of the city, out in rural Maryland and Virginia, there’s some of the best hiking trails in the country: The Shenandoah Valley (of which part of the Appalachian Trail runs through), Sugarloaf Mountain, Old Rag Mountain, Great Falls, etc. A pair of good hiking boots is a great gift to remind that person tired of This Town that there’s plenty of things to do besides creepily cruising for Congressional interns in hotel bars.
Yoga classes: Sure, This Town can drive a lot of people crazy, which is why it’s important to find relaxation and escape through exercise. There’s plenty of different yoga studios and classes to choose from. At Yoga District, which was voted as the best yoga studio in D.C. by Washington City Paper readers, you can get a pass for two classes in a week (for new students only) for only $11.
9:30 Club gift card: Alternatively, another way to blow off steam and escape the maddening life on The Hill is to catch some live music. Whatever your favorite genre is, 9:30 Club books a wide variety of bands and artists year-round. They also regularly book some of the District’s best local bands. Gift cards start at $25.
Parks & Recreation on DVD/Blu-Ray: As a reminder that covering small town politics can be just as maddening as covering life on The Hill.
Kentucky Bourbon: If you’re fed up with This Town, don’t move to Kentucky, there’s plenty of bourbon available here.
Super cool club membership: Once you secure said Kentucky bourbon, who are you going to drink it with? Other terrible reporters? Former Sen. Gary Hart and ex-Obama official Ron Kirk? No way! Enter membership to the Kentucky Society of Washington, ” an organization that promotes goodwill, fellowship, and amicable relations among Kentuckians in the National Capital Region.”—Sarah Anne Hughes
