A hipster, according to Shutterstock.
Good news, hipsters: You’ll probably love D.C. Bad news, douchebags: You’ll probably hate it.
A groan-worthy USA Today article published today highlights the best things to do on a weekend trip to D.C. if you’re a hipster. “If you need a hipster itinerary for DC, then you’re probably not a hipster,” the article says. (It gets even worse). “I mean, you’re supposed to DIY, right? But if you can’t rely on your Twitter or Instagram network to tell you what’s what, here are a few places to check out while in the District of Columbia. (Told ya).
Included in the many things that hipsters would enjoy in D.C., USA Today says, are various food trucks around the city (because hipsters are typically poor), as well as more expensive places like Le Diplomate and Birch and Barley (completely contradicting previous observation that hipsters are poor).
Other highlights for hipster weekend activities include going to free art museums, spending your night at 14th Street venues like 9:30 Club, U Street Music Hall, and Black Cat, and shopping at hipster stores like Smash Records and Buffalo Exchange. As for the up-and-coming hipster neighborhoods? Ugh:
The next big, under-the-radar neighborhoods are heading east and north, if trends continue as they have been. For example, hip Logan Circle is now overflowing into Shaw; Adams-Morgan and Columbia Heights fans are moving east to Petworth; and H Street’s hipness is moving north into NoMa territory.
But while D.C. is apparently a good place for hipsters, it isn’t too kind to douchebags. According to a new study from Estately, D.C. was named the city with the fifth fewest douchebags per capita.
And how did they determine this? By looking at the 100 largest U.S. cities and ranking them “based on the percentage of male Facebook users in each city who listed the following criteria as ‘interests’ on Facebook: Nickelback, Monster Energy, Axe (brand), Don Ed Hardy, Vin Diesel, Chris Brown, Tosh.), Mixed Martial Arts, Bluetooth, and Dane Cook.”
In related news, I’m moving to one of these places.
