Photo by Alan Zilberman.
By DCist Contributor Alan Zilberman
Located on the 14th Street corridor in the space that used to be occupied by the chocolate store ACKC, The Drafting Table is one of the less pretentious/expensive spots on a drag defined by bougie, imbibing options. The spot deserves to be more than a go-to for when Le Diplomate and Pearl Dive are too crowded: the draft list is totally decent, their fries are excellent, and the staff is friendly. The Drafting Table is also open for all the World Cup games. Along with an early opening kitchen, the bar will serve $4 drafts throughout the tournament. The bathrooms have some effective design flourishes, while comes elements are off-putting or downright strange.
+3 for hilariously cheap wallpaper: Many places on 14th Street adorn their walls with some vintage print or pictures of scantily-clad women. At the Drafting Table, there’s the college dorm equivalent of that aesthetic: instead of wallpaper, the proprietors filled the space with vintage beer stickers. Stickers are not as classy as wallpaper – after a couple years, many of them are starting to rip—yet there’s something charming about their half-assed effort. Besides, it’s fun to stare at the labels while I finish whatever shameful bathroom business I’m there to do.
-4 for no toilet tank top: Instead of a flat porcelain surface, which is prime real estate for resting a drink or perhaps a bag, The Drafting Table bathroom has full view of its toilet tank. Unlike an inadequate supply of toilet paper or even paper towels, a porcelain slab is difficult to replace. This omission does not inspire confidence, unless of course you’re curious about just how everything goes down the toilet. The World Cup is known to inspire drunken shenanigans, and without a top to the tank, an inebriated fan may see an invitation for an upper decker.
+2 for flaunting its paper product supply: There was plenty of toilet paper and paper towels when I visited the bathroom, and if I sat on the toilet, I would have seen back-ups of both ready to go (I only had to pee). I like a bathroom that takes unobtrusive steps to inspire confidence in the user: with all that toilet paper, the bathroom is practically daring you to leave something truly heinous in the bowl. It’s not like you’d have to worry about a lack of clean up supplies.
-1 for inadequate bathroom supply: While it’s not a large bar, The Drafting Table only has two private stalls. I’ve never been inside when it’s packed, but there may be long lines during the World Cup, especially since the place is advertising itself as a spot to watch the matches. During a particularly tense rivalry, I’d worry some drunks could get hostile when they’re in line away from a TV set. Then again, maybe the inadequate supply could inspire some friendly banter among rivals. No matter whether you support England or Germany, everyone must shit eventually.
+1 for a bouquet of flowers: It’s just classy, you know? Flowers are a nice respite from the peeling stickers and the visible toilet tank. I didn’t get a good enough look to see whether the flowers are real or fake—this reviewer will not make the same mistake again—but the fauna is necessary to create a sense of peace so that I may deposit human waste elsewhere.
-2 for hand-drying options: While there’s a roll of paper towels on a rack opposite the toilet, the hand dryer is the sort of one where you must wave your hand so it operates. This is the worst hand-drying mechanic in bathrooms—the sensor never works well—and I hate feeling like an asshole because I’m trying to engage the machine. A simple hand-crack would suffice, as would stacks of loose leaf paper towels. Hands-free is meant to be hygienic, I guess, but what do I care if I’m touching surfaces anyway, sometimes with my bare ass?
Overall score: -1. Toilet tank lids are not expensive, so there’s a simple way to improve the facilities at The Drafting Table. Then again, maybe there’s a reason the owners prefer to show us the toilet in action. Can you think of one, Dear John readers?
