Photo by Alan Zilberman.

By DCist Contributor Alan Zilberman

Located in the heart of Petworth, this neighborhood bar has become an area staple thanks to its chill atmosphere and fantastic happy hour. Two for one drinks until 9 p.m.? Free WiFi? Hell yeah! I’ve come to love the spot over the years: I’ve had birthdays there; I frequented it during the government shutdown; and it’s open every day at 11 a.m. The food there is pretty good, too, even when it’s not Taco Tuesday (I’m partial to their crispy pork belly sandwich). And, like any legendary neighborhood spot should, the bathroom has its charms.

+4 for a cartoon pig with a D.C. flag tattoo: There is exactly one private stall on the ground floor of DC Reynolds, and it is surprisingly artful. There’s plenty of funny graffiti, for one anything, and the walls are painted with large, cute cartoon animals. I’m partial to the pig because I have a D.C. flag tattoo in the same spot on my arm (more or less). This is a highly subjective reason to enjoy a bathroom, I’ll concede, but this is my goddamn column.

-3 for inadequate ground floor facilities: DC Reynolds has a large patio, a sizable ground floor, and a small upstairs area. Unfortunately, the ratio of bathroom-to-floor space is all wrong: there are extra bathrooms upstairs, and only one on the ground floor. That means if you’re drunk on the patio, you have to walk up two somewhat narrow flights of stairs, which is a recipe for disaster. I realize this is a limit of the building, but it’s still inconvenient.

+2 for graffiti: Assuming you’re not the sort of person who plays Candy Crush while you’re on the can, DC Reynolds offers all manner of reading material on its walls (in addition to the cartoons). My favorite item was written in the “only flush human waste and toilet paper” sign. Someone wrote, “Flush hard! It’s a long way to Baltimore.” Any unprovoked dig at the other Beltway City warms the cockles of my heart.

-2 for a corroded wall: There’s a dubious burned hole on the wall of the ground floor bathroom. It maintains its structural integrity for now, but it looks poised to create an unintentional glory hole in the months ahead. Now glory holes are never a good idea—in any situation—but the last place you want your dick exposed is a hallway of a bar. A private stall is the minimum, ladies and gentlemen.

+3 for paper towels without any dispenser: DC Reynolds’ bathroom has a small wicker basket filled with paper towels, which is the sort of thing you see at classier establishments. I, for one, prefer this over a cumbersome dispenser, and hope other neighborhoods spots—even “dives,” whatever that means anymore—follow suit. It’s a welcome, elegant offering in a place that largely eschews elegance.

+1 for a literal treasure chest: It’s a narrow bathroom at DC Reynolds, so the proprietors had to be inventive about where they store cleaning supplies and back-up toilet paper. So what do they do? They put in an honest-to-God miniature chest inside. And if you’re anything like me when you’re taking a shit, then the back-up toilet paper roll can be a form of treasure, too.

Overall score: +5. There is simply no reason to hate DC Reynolds. The staff is friendly, the drinks plentiful, and the bathroom has several cute flourishes. I hope it stays open in the years to come.