Photo by Mathu Andersen

When you’re preparing to interview a drag queen, you have expectations: Shade, glamour, and the absurd. But speaking with Darienne Lake, the lovable and voluptuous queen from Upstate New York, was not what I expected. Darienne, who was a final four contestant in sixth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race, is warm, sweet, and nothing if not professional. Even when baited to throw shade, she’ll gracefully sidestep and use the opportunity instead to philosophize. How could I expect a drag queen to be predictable?

We, of course, chatted about the ups and downs from her season, which many believe to be the most talented cast in RuPaul’s Drag Race history, but she seemed the most comfortable in the deeper parts of thought, sharing wisdom from her decades-long experience in drag. Darienne Lake will perform this Sunday night at the 9:30 Club in RuPaul’s Drag Race: Battle of the Seasons, with other favorites Jiggly Caliente, Pandora Boxx, Ivy Winters, Jinkx Monsoon, Alaska 5000, and BenDeLaCreme.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

DCist: Are you close with the any of the other girls from season six?

Darienne Lake: Oh yes, absolutely. In the morning, we’d get picked up from the hotel and we’d drive to the holding room. We’d sit in the holding room for 45 minutes to an hour before we got mic’d. So, myself, Adore [Delano], Courtney [Act], Bianca, BenDeLaCreme and Joslyn [Fox], we would all stay awake and have coffee around the table. We’d talk about our personal lives and the other girls would sleep because they were tired from staying up late or whatever. So we formed this bond. After the show, the top four, Courtney, myself, Bianca [Del Rio] and Adore—we’re all in a group text and we talk almost every single day. About love, about boys. We’re really tight, the four of us.

We do go over some things, you know… like, “we were really screwed over in this challenge!” or “We should have won this challenge together!” We look back at it now without having hard feelings or anything like that.

DCist: What about BenDeLaCreme? [with whom she appeared to have beef with on the show]

DL: We were at a bar last night, hanging out! The show really portrayed us like there was a feud or something. We clicked from the first minute we met each other. The magic of editing—they ask you when you’re about to lip-sync against somebody, “What’s going through your head right now?” I have to send her home—what else could be going through my head? They took something from episode seven and put it in episode three to make it seem like I was plotting to send her home. That simply wasn’t the case.

I’m not gonna sit here and blame editing. I’m an adult, I can deal with it. No matter what they did, there’s always going to be a redemption episode, where people see inside my character. I’m a lover of not just RuPaul’s Drag Race, but I’m a lover of reality shows. So I know that you’re going to have a story arc from beginning to end.

You can see it in some of the girls—they shot their wads too soon, telling their whole story. That’s when you know, [the show decides] “Okay. Your time is up here. Bye.” I thought about my story arc from the beginning. I came in in a blue dress and red hair. I left in a blue dress and red hair. I knew what I was doing. This is a competition, but this show isn’t a documentary—it’s an entertainment program.

DCist: I feel like you were a bit more serious than the other queens. You were obviously hilarious and fun to watch, but more relatable. You were very real. What’s the most common thing you hear from your fans?

DL: The feedback I always get, from my fans and even people who weren’t fans of me, is that within seconds they can tell “Oh, she’s so sweet! She’s so relatable.” Last night I was out in New York and I had two queens come up to me and they said, “We’ve messaged all the [RuPaul] queens on Facebook and you’re the only one who ever responded.” I know how it is to be a superfan of somebody. When people say “I can’t believe you wrote back!” I think… it’s the least I can do. My fans really get to know me and they get exactly my humour the first second they meet me.

DCist: Who are you a superfan of?

DL: I’ve always been a superfan of RuPaul. That goes without saying. I’m also a fan of the greats like Jackie Beat and Varla Jean Merman. They really chose this as a career. I don’t know if it’s my age or my upbringing, but I always thought, “have a backup plan.” A lot of times, when you’re growing up, what you hear from your parents is, “that’s not your role in life. That’s not for you.” So it’s something that you have to really be passionate about that you’ll do whatever you want to do.

I’m lucky, I think, that I grew up an obese child so I’m used to haters. It really doesn’t affect me, especially when I was used to haters in my own family. On the opposite side, compliments don’t really affect me either. A friend of mine told me it’s so much easier for me to take an insult than a compliment.

DCist: You were the only big girl in that season. You’re so vocal about body image and learning to love yourself. What kinds of things have you picked up that helped you love yourself?

DL: It took a long fucking time to love myself. I’d say “I hate the way my body looks and I hate myself because of that” In the late ‘90s when the Atkins craze was starting to kick off, I got on it and lost a lot of weight—like 100 pounds. I was younger, so I thought, “I look good now, I’ll get a boyfriend and I’ll be happy!” I didn’t find the boyfriend and I wasn’t happy and I was hungry. I was still looking in the mirror and hating what I saw. So I thought, “what is going on? Why aren’t I happy? Why don’t I love myself?” But [I] had an epiphany and I realized, “Wait a minute. I can love myself just not love what my body looks like.” I have so many friends with single-digit body fat and they still don’t like their bodies. Something has to click. You start to love yourself. You’ll get fed up with it.

I think it was Joan Rivers who said something that really stuck with me. Everyone was talking about the “It Gets Better” program and she said, “No. It doesn’t get better. You have to get better.” Situations will always suck, people will always be stupid. The rain will always fall. But you have to get better and it will happen.

DCist: Can you speak at all about what the word on the street is about D.C. drag?

DL: I was there for Pride and I met some of the girls. It seemed like a great cross-section of drag—you have the pageant girls, but you also have the camp. It’s just a lot of fun. There’s a great energy in D.C. drag. I’m surprised there hasn’t been a D.C. queen yet [on RuPaul’s Drag Race].

As drag queens, we all pick our roles of what we are and play to our strengths. Some of us are comedy queens, some are models who can wear a gown like nobody’s business. Some of us don’t have any of that—we just have a wild, creative side of self-expression. I do feel like there’s a higher power. God’s not going to give someone the shittiest of lives—you have to have something on your side.

DCist: Do you believe in karma?

DL: I do, to an extent. Sometimes some people just get away with murder.

DCist: Is there anybody in the world that you find utterly repulsive? Who you would use your own form of higher power to put them in their place?

DL: It’s not so much that I want to put them in their place. I’d wanna put them in my place. I’d want them to see where I was coming from. I would rather have them understand who I am. It’s not until a straight person gets in a gay person’s shoes to see how we’re treated. It’s like when Tyra Banks put on the fat suit and everyone made fun of her and she finally got it. I used to say on the show, “if you exalt thyself, thou shall be humbled. If thou humble thyself, thou shalt be exalted.”

DCist: How has your life changed since being on the show?

DL: It’s been amazing. Literally, traveling all over the world. I never thought I’d be able to do that. One of the biggest things that I learned and enjoyed from being on the show is that I made some really close, fantastic friends. For somebody 40 years old, you don’t think about making new friends. At some point in your life, you think you’re done making new friends. But you need new relationships. I think that’s what really changed me the most.

Tempest [the first to be eliminated in the current season 7] [DuJour]’s thing was “you’re never too old to pursue your dreams.” I wish she would have been around longer.

DCist: Do you think there’s ageism in the drag world?

DL: Somebody will bring me a dance song and they say, “oh my god, have you heard this new song?” Honey, I heard it 20 years ago. It’s a remake. It’s not new.

[Fans] don’t really see old people inspiring them. It’s always about the next new young fashion designer. Granted, You’re not going to find 50-year old queens doing death drops —you know, unless they’re high on Boniva, because their bones are brittle. However, that Kennedy Davenport… I was watching her perform and she slayed the children. I mean, slayed. She was flipping and kicking and dipping and dropping! I was amazed at her energy.

DCist: Who do you forecast to win season 7?

DL: I really don’t know. I always hope that one of the big girls like Jordan Dior or Ginger Minj will make it all the way. At least to the top three. But I know how they do everything. You never know. It would be great to have a big girl win [or] to have an older queen win.

DCist: What would you tell someone who had never been to a drag show before to get them to a show?

DL: You don’t ever have to worry about not feeling like you belong. If it’s something that interests you, go! Even if you have to go alone. You’ll make tons of new friends. There’s this group called the Drag Coven. And they go from drag show to drag show and they follow the queens. They’re true, awesome groupies. If you’re scared to go to a show, just go and have a good time. Don’t take it so literal or serious because it’s just all about having fun.