By DCist Contributor Nathan Wilkinson

St. Patrick’s Day—as it is celebrated in America—is unlike any other holiday. The green clothing, cartoonish parades, and outsized costumes belie that St. Patrick’s Day isn’t the religious observance the name suggests. Eventually it all comes down to an excuse to drink, and in doing so celebrants are reminded that, for one day, everybody is Irish.

But this remarkably inclusive holiday has little love for people who enjoy mixing cocktails. I was recently reminded of this when I asked the bartender at Murphy’s (713 King Street in Alexandria, Va.) to combine Bushmills whiskey and tonic water (a Skibbereen Tonic). An elderly gentleman next to me asked me why I wanted to waste whiskey. The Irish don’t do cocktails with their native spirits. They tend to take their whiskey neat and are more than satisfied with a perfectly poured Guinness. At many Irish pubs, you won’t even find a cocktail menu, which is why I’ve tackled no less than 20 Irish drink recipes at home and compiled a list of St. Patrick’s Day “Do’s and Don’ts” for the cocktail drinker.

Let’s get the don’ts out of the way first. Don’t drink a cocktail just because it’s green. Green beer is fine because the flavor is unchanged by the dye; green cocktails are really unpleasant because the colored liqueurs are also flavored—they usually end up making your drink taste like mouthwash. Cocktails called “Everybody’s Irish,” “St. Patrick’s Day,” and “Shamrock” should be avoided at all costs. Don’t drink anything with a disgusting-sounding name: that Irish Trashcan is just a sickeningly sweet Long Island Iced Tea. And don’t be culturally insensitive by ordering an Irish Car Bomb. Just get your Guinness and Bailey’s and have at it.

Now for the Do’s. Do use Irish whiskey as a substitute for your favorite basic cocktails. With its sweet and malty character, Irish whiskey blends well with sodas and citrus and is best paired with cookies and pies. You can treat it like gin and mix it with bitter wines to yield a dry cocktail as well. Irish whiskey works equally well as a substitute for rum in tropical drinks. In fact, there are many Irish-themed cocktails that are a simple substitution of Irish whiskey for the base liquor.

Make a Manhattan (Paddy Cocktail) or a Sidecar (Bow Street Special). Add a quarter ounce of Chambord to a Whiskey Sour and you have a Grafton Street Sour, and equal parts Irish whiskey, and dry vermouth with dashes of bitters and Pernod is known as a Blackthorn. The ubiquitous Jameson and ginger ale is an Irish Buck, belonging to the Buck family of cocktails, along with the Gin Buck and Rum Buck. And the Irish version of the Rusty Nail becomes a Bunratty Peg when made with Irish Mist and whiskey. The best thing about these cocktails is that the substitutions are easy to make and any bartender worth his muddler should be able to accommodate your request. Just don’t ask for these drinks by their obscure names. I’ve yet to find a bartender who has heard of any of them. Recipes for these and other Irish whiskey drinks can be found on my Web site.

Definitely go to James Hoban’s Irish Bar and Restaurant (1 Dupont Circle NW), which has the best Irish cocktail menu I’ve seen so far. Bartender James Costigan challenges my assertion that the Irish don’t cocktail: “It depends,” says Costigan in his Irish accent. “In Dublin it’s pretty big.” He makes me a Spirit of Dublin with Teeling whiskey, Travis Hasse’s Cherry Pie Liqueur, and ginger beer. “The drink’s name comes from Teeling being the new distillery in Dublin since Jameson. It’s only been available in the states for six months,” he says.

Costigan tells me that Irish whiskey has seen a huge spike in sales, probably due to younger people who appreciate the Jameson and ginger. And you can get that at Hoban’s, where it’s called an Irish Mule, or try the Hoban’s Sour with Tullimore Dew, sour mix, and a Shiraz float. These light and effervescent drinks are perfect for the warming weather now that spring has finally arrived.