Photo by Rebecca Schley.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
D.C.’s dining scene is pretty hot—and has been for some time—despite what New Yorkers say. There’s a wide variety of traditional spots and also ones with the latest trends. But perhaps we’ve gone a bit too far.
Overheard of the Week
In Cleveland Park, a couple at dinner looking over the menu:
Woman: “Charcuterie?! It’s just fancy-ass Lunchables.”
After the jump, office workers, gym ladies and twenty-somethings.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Interns
Morning elevator ride in office building in DC:
Woman 1: “He’s been great.”
Woman 2: “Yes, he has been so helpful.”
Woman 1: “He probably thinks this is great, which is scary.”
Woman 2: “Yeah…”
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Aww
At Long Branch Nature Center in Arlington:
A naturalist is leading a group of first graders and parent chaperones on a short hike, pointing out things such as plants and archeological sites.
Naturalist: “Who knows what B.C. stands for?”
Little Boy #1: “Before Christ”
Naturalist: “Correct”
Little Girl: “Who’s Christ?”
Little Boy #2: “Jesus!”
Little Girl: “I’m Jewish!”
Naturalist: “It’s OK, I’m agnostic.”
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Perhaps this date is not going great
A very well dressed couple outside of Russia House, late Thursday night:
Woman, to the man: “I’M NOT A SUCCUBUS!”
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Yes, but have you donated lots of money?
At Pearl Dive Happy Hour:
A group of women in their mid-twenties are sitting at the bar.
Woman 1 to Woman 2: “You should apply.”
Woman 2: “They probably wouldn’t hire me; I don’t have any experience.”
Woman 3: “I’d hire you.”
Woman 2 to Woman 3: “I mean don’t have ANY experience.”
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What a good host!
On 14th Street around midnight:
A group of early twenty-somethings walk by:
“My boyfriend has had sex with like 40 percent of his guest list for his party.”
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WMATA logic
McPherson Square Metro station during rush hour:
A man and woman are walking to the escalators to get to the station platform.
Man: “Does this platform get very crowded?”
Woman: “Not really.”
Man: “Lucky! The platform at Metro Center is always packed. Which is crazy because they have more trains than everywhere else … It’s stupid!”
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Whose?
At the National Gallery:
A huge group of older tourists wearing name tags walks by one of the side atriums.
Woman to friend: “Yeah, but I’ve eaten eyeballs before, so it’s not that weird.”
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Not everybody’s a foodie
Federal office cafeteria:
Lady in line, to the woman working the grill: “What kind of cheese do you have?”
Cafeteria employee, shrugging: “White. Yellow.”
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The aliens, they walk among us
Friday night, while walking up 14th street around midnight:
A groups of early twenty-somethings is walking:
“Two years is a very long time in human terms!!!!”
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Just eyeballs then
In the SoulCycle Bethesda women’s bathroom:
Four girls in their early-twenties, hanging onto every word of their skinniest member:
“… and that’s why I’m super afraid of plant-based protein.”
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And finally, you win the DCist Commentariat Award!
A man to a woman, while waiting for the elevator in a federal building:
“Her personality was like Adolph Hitler, except a little bit worse.”
