Photo from iStock.

People are wondering if the Cleveland Caveliers’ big championship win last night means that Washington D.C. is now the biggest loser when it comes to cities without major titles.

Well, the latest indications are not looking good, considering we can’t even keep the measly titles we’ve already got.

Last year we celebrated our dominance in one surprising blood sport when hair product company Wahl named us the most facial hair friendly city in the nation. Not arbitrary at all and totally deserved. We embraced our destiny. Even the clean-shaven among us whiskered up.

And how are we rewarded for our growing scene? We’ve been unceremoniously bumped from the top slot for the cretins from Miami. “Sunshine, white sand and whiskers—it’s a recipe for happiness anywhere, but especially in Miami, where beards are abuzz,” writes Wahl.

In an email announcing the top 10, a spokesperson writes in a parenthetical that “the city fell only one spot from its #1 ranking last year… not bad.”

Not bad?!? It’s devastating. Miami’s undeservedness shines through even Wahl’s own list, which notes that “if you want to play professional baseball in Miami, you’ll have to check your follicles at the door thanks to the team’s ‘no-grow’ policy instituted earlier this year.”

Excuse me, Wahl, but the Nationals have no such policy. Indeed, we even let our baseball players’ beards tweet for themselves. Their beards are why we jumped 18 spots to number one in the first place:

A big reason for this jump is the city’s pro baseball team. Last fall they led the league in many statistical categories, including facial hair. Fans in turn rallied, creating a wave of positive facial hair sentiment …

This year our beloved baseball just wasn’t enough and you can blame the god damn election, according to Wahl. The ranking comes from an “in-depth analysis of online conversations and searches for beard and mustache related keywords,” says spokesperson Robyn Nowak. “While Nationals fans are still facial hair enthusiastic, it’s possible online facial hair conversations in the city have been somewhat diminished by the presidential election … which covers topics steering far from facial hair.”

First our bikeability ranking drops, and now this. I don’t know how much more I can take.

Updated with comment from Robyn Nowak.