By DCist contributor Evan Caplan
America: if there’s anything we’re good at, it’s cooking meat. Lots of it. And the biggest, meatiest pregame for July 4th got down this weekend at the 24th Annual Giant National Capital Barbecue Battle, across five blocks of “America’s Avenue” (aka Pennsylvania Ave). When it’s hot enough to sizzle that egg on the sidewalk, it only makes sense that we fire up all of the grills. Enough of the #Brexit — let’s have some #brisket.
The biggest draw, of course, is the Giant National BBQ Championship Contest, officially sanctioned by the Kansas City Barbecue Society (yes, that is a thing), with categories that included brisket, chicken, pork, and ribs. Another contest included the highly intense intra-military cook-off between the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps and Coast Guard; apparently they keep America safe from both physical and existential threats, like poorly seasoned pulled pork.
Retired Master Gunnery Sergeant Jeremiah Burns, who fed hungry Marines for three decades, had his game face on, saying, “We dream about challenges of this nature, competing against the best of the best of the other forces. I came in second two years ago. And I’m not about to come in second again.” He wasn’t kidding, winning the top prize with chicken glazed with his own from-scratch sauces in five flavors: Classy, Fiery, Caribbean, Sunshine, and Apple Kiss.
Not that America’s got a monopoly on the barbie. The Aussies do a bang-up job, too, and brought it with their lamb skills, showcasing impressive grass-fed, grass-finished, sustainable lamb export. “Being in D.C.,” says Australian chef Adam Moore, “is an honor, because we get to show how versatile lamb is for the beef-loving Americans, and how sustainable it is. We have all of this land, and we put it to great use.” We couldn’t agree more, especially when that tender lamb is topped with chimichurri sauce.
Though this isn’t your dainty wine and food tasting festival, if you’ve never had a rosé with your roast, Barefoot Beach proved that we’ve been missing out, handing out samples of bubbly canned wine spritzers, singlehandedly upping the class factor. Wine wasn’t only evident as a beverage, however. One of the few women behind the grill, Mama Mary, divulged her secret sauce: kosher Kedem sparkling wine, saying, “In the cup, in the sauce, it’s all good.” Maybe she and Barefoot are onto something.
Event sponsor Giant also wanted to make sure America’s collective arteries got a little love, putting up a “Health and Wellness” stage to talk about vaccinations and not-that-much-mayo potato salad (of course, by the time you’ve scarfed down a few pounds of smoky meat, does a little less mayo really make a difference?), and a portion of proceeds went to the USO Metropolitan Washington-Baltimore and the Capital Area Food Bank. The rest of the event, however, was all about OMG. THERE’S. SO. MUCH. MEAT.
Take-home lessons: flames shooting out of your grill looks really cool, so make sure to do that; summer block party must-haves include inflatable pigs and an Oscar Meyer Weinermobile; nothing green belongs at a barbecue; and hot dog eating competitions should not be tried at home.
