Rachel Kurzius
Photo by Benjamin Strahs.
The District legalized cannabis but, thanks to continued congressional meddling, there’s still no tax-and-regulate system in place, so you can’t walk into a dispensary and buy some weed, like you can in Colorado. That ‘s because selling cannabis remains illegal. The idea is “Home Grow, Home Use,” and an entire cottage industry of grow consultants has popped up to help, but sometimes, you just want to buy a god damn bag of grass.
The Kush Gods popularized a loophole in Initiative 71—gifting up to one ounce of cannabis is legal—and set up a donation-based system to ply their wares. While the Kush Gods owner-operator faced some legal woes, it was over alleged old-school weed dealing, not the “gifting” aspect of the business (though it remains a legal gray area). Since then, businesses have popped up that ostensibly sell other things—juice, t-shirts, backpacks, art—and tack on a little nugget or cookie of appreciation, all claiming to be Initiative 71-compliant. Unfortunately, if you live in Virginia or Maryland, you’re out of luck. They only deliver to D.C. addresses (excluding federal property), and, living up to stereotypes of weed-lovers, they’re often running a little late.
(A quick note that there are a lot more weed delivery services in D.C. that do not claim to be Initiative 71-compliant. Find them yourself. For a decidedly more legal route, you could also opt to get a medical marijuana card. As of September 1, there are almost 4,000 patients and five operational dispenaries in D.C.’s medical marijuana program. While it once had some of the most restrictive eligibility requirements in the country, there are no longer any qualifying conditions for a prescription. You just need a doctor who thinks your health would benefit from cannabis consumption. Once you’ve got the card, you can go to one of the dispensaries for a bevy of flower, pre-rolled joints, edibles, and tinctures, but the Department of Health bars them from delivering the goods.)
The goods from District of C. (Photo by Rachel Kurzius)
DISTRICT OF C: This art delivery service has the noble claim of working to provide employment for D.C.’s Deaf community. For $55, you purchase artwork made by Deaf artists. If you so choose, tacked on to the art delivery is 3.5 grams of reefer. In addition to selecting which of the featured prints you’d like, you also decide between various strains, all of which are potent as all get up. I’m not exaggerating when I say most of my friends now have District of C art adorning their walls.
Find District of C on their website.
PINK FOX: Pink Fox sells drawstring backpacks for $5, if you’re in the market for a new bag. If you’d like, the company will fill said bag with a plethora of weed edibles. There’s espresso cookies, chocolates, caramels, puppy chow, savory bites, and more, all cooked with cannabutter or infused coconut oil. The owner is quick to explain how strong each of the offerings are. A little awkwardly, it’s pay-what-you-want beyond the $5. The biggest issue I’ve found is that the cookies are so delicious you might find it difficult to stop munching after your intended dosage, leaving you to get lost in a labyrinth of your own mind.
Find Pink Fox on their website.
RED EYE: Like Pink Fox, you can also get cookies from Red Eye. The difference is that the only high you’re gonna get from Red Eye sweets is sugar-based. Buy a box of cookies for $60, and you receive a “free gift” of nugs alongside it. I’ve yet to try this service, but friends tell me that it’s prompt, professional, and that the cookies are delicious.
Find Red Eye on their website.
What you get when you order from Highspeed. (Photo by Rachel Sadon)
HIGHSPEED: “We’re a juice delivery startup,” HighSpeed CEO David Umeh told me back in April. “We have a lot of people that literally buy just juice.” Why, exactly, people would pay as much as $165 for a bottle of juice—even if it is cold press—is utterly beyond me, but for people who want their juice with a side of bud, it makes perfect sense. There are a couple of options with Highspeed, which struggled at first to keep up with demand and has since tried to work out the kinks by staggering its delivery times. Buying juice for $55 (aka the “love” option) results in about an eighth of marijuana either for delivery or pick-up the following day, whereas the $150 “lots of love” gets you more … love. If you’re looking for “on-demand” service, meaning a delivery within the hour, the love option bumps up to $70 and the lots of love to $165. Sometimes you need that juice fast.
Find Highspeed on their website.
Photo via Facebook.
KING WEEDY: To get deliveries from this business, you’ve got to be a member of the King Weedy Collective. My membership is still pending, sadly, despite some follow-up attempts, but the most devoted delivery aficionado I know swears by the service. Here’s how it works: purchase a hat for $52 or a t-shirt for $42, and get about two grams-worth of high-quality bud, after choosing between three strains.
Find King Weedy on their website.
