And just like that, we’re already freezing and trying to come up with last-minute Halloween costumes. Admittedly nothing is more terrifying than Donald Trump’s understanding of nuclear weapons, but we’re still trying to have a good time here. To that end, buck national politics and come up with something a little bit more personal, something only people who pay attention to the District rather than official Washington will get. We have some humble suggestions, in our third guide to D.C.-centric costumes. But really, though, go as who or whatever you want, so long as it isn’t Hillary Clinton’s emails, Donald Trump’s hair, or Ken Bone.

Bao Bao inspected her frozen birthday cake at a triple birthday panda party in August. (Courtesy of the Smithsonian National Museum)

Bye Bao

Remember Tai Shan? No, no you don’t. That’s soon to be the fate of our once beloved Bao Bao, now that she’s been replaced by Bei Bei and is being shipped back to China. In the meantime, she’s being acclimated to her traveling crate. Pick up a panda suit or go DIY (slap some ears on a headband, pair with black and white clothing). Bring a wine crate and put it on your head whenever someone asks about your costume. Alternatively, just show up with a bunch of bao in a bag. Eat one whenever someone asks what you are and say “bye bao.” Give no further explanation.

A new REI opened in NoMa last week. (Photo by Rachel Sadon)

The new REI

Unless you’re at a party with people who have been hiking the Appalachian Trail for the past few months, they’ve probably heard: there’s a new REI in town. Wear flannel and as many camping supplies as you can. Tell everyone you meet that you have hundreds of free activities planned for them, and, oh by the way, there’s a new REI in town. Consider announcing your arrival with a marching band. Definitely bring some chalk and draw a poop mural in the bathroom.

Kinilaw Na Hipon (Instagram)

Bad Saint

Go as your favorite saint (Joan of Arc? Mother Theresa? Francis of Assisi?) gone bad. Interpret this as you will, but make sure that you show up to any party several hours early with a line of people clamoring for your attention at all times.

(Photo by David Gaines)

Colors of the D.C. Council, past and present

It doesn’t get much easier than this. Don your best Orange, White, and Gray attire and then spend the rest of your evening patiently explaining how the D.C. Council works, which ward your friends live in, and who represents them.

(Photo by Benjamin Strahs)

WONDER

Grab some rainbow yarn and wrap it around yourself. Attach a bunch of index cards. If you’re feeling brave, add some dead beetles. Throw some sticks in your hair. Everyone will be your best friend, you’ll be an Instagram star! But only for the night. Then everyone will forget about you again.

(Photo by Christina Sturdivant)

Indoor Skydiving

Put that thrift store tracksuit to good use and go as Loudoun County’s indoor skydiving attraction. To complete the look, shove your head into a tiny helmet and make sure you have a high-powered fan contorting your face into deeply unattractive shapes. Consider chemical ways to achieve a different sensory experience of the world.

(Photo by Rachel Sadon)

Corpse Flower

Make a tall, light green hat. Don a green outfit and then add a maroon skirt upside down. Fail to shower for a few days—or alternatively carry around gym socks, rotting cabbage, or fish. Voila, you’re a corpse flower.

(Photo by Anna Leehey)

Dupont Circle rat sanctuary

If you can’t beat them, join ’em? Fashion a circle out of a hula hoop. Put a water bottle on your head and give it a squeeze every once in a while. Attach plastic rats to your clothing. The Dupont rat sanctuary, indeed.

Eleanor Holmes Norton got inked, at least temporarily in 2012. (Photo by Jacob Marzolf)

D.C. statehood

Plaster yourself in temporary tattoos of the D.C. flag. Insist to everyone that one day they’ll be real.