(Photo by GA-Kayaker)

In the annals of horrifying news, mankind has really been upping the ante lately. Mother Nature, however, has reasserted her dominance in Silver Spring.

See this passage from The Washington Post’s John Kelly:

Christie’s screams woke her family, and her mom and dad ran down to her basement bedroom thinking she was having a nightmare. There was Christie, her hand already starting to swell from the venom. And there was the snake, still in her bed.

Christie Kelly was sleeping in her bed when she awoke to the searing pain of two bites from a copperhead snake.

Please let that sink in.

This 24 year-old yoga instructor wasn’t camping or playing with pet mice. She was in her bed, probably dreaming of a world where people aren’t bitten by snakes in their beds.

Her parents rushed Kelly to the hospital, where doctors nearly had to amputate her arm. After four antivenom treatments, she had to have a total of three surgeries to relieve swelling and clean out dead tissue.

Copperheads, for what it is worth, are the only venomous snake in the D.C. region. They are most active in the warm summer months, and we should probably all stay inside until October when they return to hibernation.

Terrestrial wildlife biologist Susan Watson told The Washington Post a few years ago that copperheads don’t attack unless they are provoked. “You pretty much have to touch them in some way to get them to bite,” she said, neglecting to weigh in on the likelihood of them slithering into one’s bed and attacking. “Don’t put your hands or feet where you can’t see.”

It will take six months for Kelly to fully recover … all because she went to bed. What is this world?