Photo by Alicia Griffin.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
Maybe it’s just because it’s the end of the week, but we’re having a tough time drawing up too much empathy for the people bemoaning the difficulty of brunch.
Overheard of the Week
A male and female in their twenties are talking in line to get keys made at Home Depot around 2:30 p.m. Sunday:
Man: “Brunch is hard.”
Woman: “I know. I couldn’t get through all the food.”
Man: “I mean, brunch is hard. You have to get up early, get a car…”
The two suddenly decide to leave the line.
Woman who is making the keys: “Brunch is hard? Try getting up Sunday to go to work.”
——
It would be a stunning upset
At the corner of 7th and H streets NW near Gallery Place Metro:
Woman: “Who are you supporting in the World Cup?”
Man: “USA baby!!!”
——
The interns are back, or, where’s Judge Judy?
A group of congressional interns in their early twenties are waiting in line for one of the tourist lectures at the Supreme Court:
One young lady, while twirling her hair: “Soooo, is this like, the actual courtroom? Or is this like, one of those dummy courtrooms?”
Friend: “Uhhhhh, I have nooo idea.”
——
The definition of true love
At Teaism in Penn Quarter on Friday night:
A married couple in their late twenties or early thirties are talking.
Woman: “I wish we could still drink out of plastic straws and not be social pariahs.”
Man: “You can absolutely drink out of a plastic straw. That’s why you get married. So you can do things like drink out of non-biodegradable straws and still not die alone.”
(Man gets up and grabs two straws and both then happily drink up.)
——
Zing
At Fort Reno on the 4th waiting for the fireworks to start:
A dad in his late twenties is with his small child.
Child, excited: “Look daddy! I see fireworks!”
Dad, unimpressed: “Oh … those are just the 70 dollar pack from Rodman’s.”
——
The most D.C. job?
In downstairs pub at Darlington House:
Young woman to a table of bros, “We work in healthcare, the Advisory Board Company. Have you heard of it?”
——
Gotta remember this excuse
At the grocery store:
Manager: “Where is [name]? Is she sick?”
Cashier: “No, a bug flew in her ear.”
Manager: “What?”
Cashier: “A bug flew in her ear. So she went home.”
Manager: (no response)
——
In Soviet Russia…
While watching the Russia-Croatia game at the Field House in Navy Yard:
The Russia coach is on the big screen.
Person watching: “That guy. He’s so KGB. I bet he’s worried he’s gonna get the nerve gas agent if Russia doesn’t win.”
——
Salty?
A twenty to thirty-something guy is on the phone on Park Road on the (very hot) Fourth of July:
Him, very seriously: “I’m sorry, but you get no sympathy from me, you know my feelings on the beach”
——
Networking!
Over dinner in Tysons:
A woman asks her male friend about his recent date.
Man: “I also went on a date with this other girl but she’s too … LinkedIn.”
Woman: “What does that mean?”
Man: “She asked me what I do and I said I’m still studying. Then she goes ‘Oh, data engineering is SO in demand right now.”’It was just sooo LinkedIn. Too square.”
——
Listen to your friend
In Dupont:
Young woman standing outside of Flywheel: “I threw up on my rent-the-runway dress and they won’t take it back.”
Other young woman: “Life isn’t fair.”
——
As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
