The year: 2025. The location: National Landing. (Some people insist on calling it “Crystal City,” and that’s how you know they don’t work for Amazon.) DCist is still around, and we’re still collecting all of the oddities you overhear, like this gem:

https://twitter.com/hshaban/status/1062416942538153987

When Two Is Too Many

Two young 20-somethings emerge from Potomac Yard Metro stop and look around confused

20-something 1: “Wait … I think we exited the wrong way again.”
20-something 2: “Aaaah! I don’t think we’ve ever used the right one. There are just so many Metro exits!”

——

Potassium Overload

A group of Amazon employees gathers outside the free banana stand, as they have every morning for years

Mom to her toddler: “Want a banana, honey?”
Toddler: “Mommy, why don’t we have bananas at home?”
Mom: “Because Daddy Bezos buys them for us here.”

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Well, If NoMa (Or, Hell, National Landing) Caught On …

Two 30-something women are walking down Crystal Drive

Woman 1: “I told them to come out to NaLa tonight”
Woman 2: “NaLa?”
Woman 1: “Ummm … National Landing?”
Woman 2: “Oh. Is that a thing?”
Woman 1: “I’m trying to make it a thing. Could you start using it?”

——

Sweet, Sweet Sunlight

Man in hoodie emerges from Amazon office building on cell phone

Man: “Wow, this public plaza is nice. No, it’s not new—I just never noticed it. I guess I just haven’t been outside in six days.”

——

Yep, They Were Serious

A pregnant woman is gesticulating with anger at a man at a table at Little Sesame Landing

Woman: “They’re all DEAD to me!”
Man: “They’re your best friends, you can’t stay mad at them forever.”
Woman: “But none of them RSVPed to my baby shower! When they said they wouldn’t visit me if I moved out to NaLa, I didn’t think they were actually serious.”