It may be Valentine’s Day, but according to a new study, Washingtonians likely don’t care. That’s because D.C. residents are least likely among all big city denizens in America to call themselves romantic and most likely to call long walks on the beach “cheesy,” per OkCupid’s annual nationwide survey of singles.

Strange, because in the pantheon of arbitrary rankings, D.C. has earned plaudits for its singles scene and a bevy of other bizarre titles related to the arts of wooing. Here’s just a cursory look at some of our impressive titles:

• D.C. is the 10th best city to find a romantic suitor…
• But it’s also been named the second best city to be single
• That’s a title it maintained a year later
• Just kidding: D.C. is actually the seventh most romantic city in America
• That’s probably because D.C. is the number one city to find a fan of Game of Thrones to date on Match.com
• Clearly they’re not watching the show at home on date night, because D.C. singles spent the 13th most on dates each month as compared to singles in other cities
• D.C. is fourth in the top 10 cities where women make the first move …
• But D.C. is also where they’re happiest being single
• Take from this what you will: D.C. is the 42nd manliest city in America
• BONUS: Bethesda has the most attractive people in America