Every day DCist gives you lists of suggestions for activities and distractions: where to eat, which bands are playing, what you can do for free—because living is expensive and you didn’t ask to be born—and how to keep from sitting still long enough to contemplate the futility of existence.
But the void can only be avoided for so long. Happy hours end, bluetooth headphones die, WiFi cuts out, and trains are held for schedule adjustment. Sometimes you need to let your frustrations out when you realize you don’t have all the answers. Here are seven places around D.C. ideal for greeting the abyss.
Fort Reno
The highest elevation point in D.C. is perfect for feeling alone enough to speak your problems into the void. If you need some prompts, try “Why are we here?” or, “What is everything?” Let the paralyzing dread you normally suppress peep up its little gremlin head and take a breath of fresh air together. The human body begins to entropy from the moment we’re born, but yours just climbed this mega hill, which might provide enough endorphins to create the illusion of immortality for a moment.
Rock and Roll Hotel
The acoustics of the performance space at this H Street NE venue are ideal for having a small existential crisis while looking totally casual and holding a craft beer. Contemplate if your entire personality is a performative defense mechanism. You love an intimate music venue, but what about real intimacy? What does it mean to love another person? What does it mean to love yourself? What is the self? Shout-singing in the general direction of the stage is de rigueur here, so let it out.
Rapids Bridge Trail, Rock Creek Park
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, and no one will hear your guttural moans over the sound of the rapids on this trail. You can engage in the Sisyphean task of trying to make the world more hospitable, and sometimes nature is still like, “nah.” This is a mood and also a reminder of the ephemeral nature of all things. Another benefit of this scenic hike is that you might take a photo good enough to merit enough social media validation to chase away your problems for a bit.
Key Bridge
When you remember that your main value to society is as a consumer and you feel like fleeing the city where you’re constantly being advertised to, rant in the direction of the Potomac River at the Key Bridge. You may never become your highest self trapped on the hedonistic treadmill of consumerism, but your highest self is probably just as annoying as your regular self, anyways. Turn around and return to D.C. when your realize that Virginia, not enlightenment, is what’s on the other side of the bridge.
Constitution Gardens at the National Mall
There is a small footbridge in the middle of this oasis north of the Lincoln Reflecting Pool perfect for feeling alone in a crowd. While there, you might startle some ducks into flight. Who came up with ducks? Why are they here? Are they happy? Play a quick game of, “What Should I Use to Try to Fill the Void?” Scroll through adoptable dogs on your phone for a bit, then settle on a low-maintenance houseplant. That should stave off the mediocrity of reality for a while.
Club level at Flash
Abandon several senses upstairs in the club level of Flash, where no one can hear you sob “if this is the prime of my life I want a refund” over the state-of-the-art sound system. This is also a great place to flail over the meaninglessness of it all. You’ll blend right in with the other dancers and the flashing lights will add an element of drama perfect for dissociating from reality by pretending you’re in a movie.
A paddleboard on the Potomac
You can’t escape yourself, but you can rent a paddleboard and paddle away from the society that made you. This is a good time to remember that no one is ever thinking about you because they’re too busy thinking about themselves. Take comfort that this means that no one cares about the weird thing you said, but that it also means no one cares about the cool, funny thing you said. We’re all on our own paddleboards of shame, doing our best.
Need some more inspiration?
