Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant—good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

A family is picking blueberries at Butler’s Orchard:

Little girl: “Mommy, the blue ones are my favorite!”

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December 6, 2019: Ballsy!

On the Red Line pulling out of the NoMa station Wednesday morning, a man in his early 40s is on his cell phone:

Man: “Yes, I had a follow-up question for after my vasectomy: Can I get a semen analysis?”

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February 14, 2019: Courage of your convictions

On the H4 bus to Tenleytown on a weekday morning after a group of teens boarded:

Teen girl 1 (looking at her phone pensively): “Should I proofread this essay before I turn it in?”
Teen girl 2: “Girl, I never proofread. Like, I said what I said—period.”

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August 3, 2018: You’re not alone

A young woman is walking with a friend towards U Street:

She turns and says ominously: “Every time I’m here I do something dumb…”

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July 20, 2018: Interns are learning

A group of 20-somethings sitting at Teaism:

One of them: “I don’t think I’ll ever work for free again, it’s just so hard.”

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April 21, 2017: No

Two guys, late 20s/early 30s, are talking at Takoda Beer Garden in Shaw during happy hour: 

Guy 1: “Ok, so let me get this right. … Tinder is to gay as Bumble is to straight?”
Guy 2: “Yes.”

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September 29, 2017: Seems legit

Leaving an Axios panel at about 7:30 p.m., one 20-something woman complains to another:

“I’m tired of being shamed because I want to go to bed at 8.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.