Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant—good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

A woman is talking loudly on her phone in the outdoor seating section of a Fairfax brewery: 

“I haven’t had a vacation, I deserved to get my tubes tied!”

—

He has a point here 

A woman is with her young son at a CVS in Alexandria:

Pharmacist: “Your prescription will be ready in about 10 minutes.”
Boy, anguished: “Ten minutes??? That’s SO long!!!”
Mom: “It’s ok, we’ll walk around the store and look at stuff.”
Boy: “But why? We don’t need to buy anything!”
Mom: “C’mon, we’ll just walk down the aisles.”
Boy: “That’s so STUPID!!!”

—

Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it

A woman talking on the phone in downtown Silver Spring: 

“I’m going to Chick-Fil-A. You want a salad?”

—

Future chair of a tickle response task force 

Two elementary school kids are playing in an apartment rooftop pool, doing cannon balls into three-foot water: 

Kid: “How do you think people become immune to tickles? Do they make you get a shot?”

—

Some things never change

A group of five dining at Rasika: 

Person: “I worked for my neighbor a bit after being furloughed, but I think she’s a bitch even without a global pandemic happening, so good riddance to that situation.”

—

In Fauci she trusts?

A mother is with her 4-year-old son in a Silver Spring apartment as he asks something inaudible to the concierge: 

Mom: “Oh, when will the sickies be gone? I don’t think he can answer that. There’s only one man who knows that and his name is Anthony Fauci, but we don’t know him so it may be a while before you can ask that.”