Colleen Grablick
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant—good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.
Overheard of the Week
At the Lincoln Memorial, two guys (probably in their 30s) are chatting:
Guy: “Well what’s embassy row?”
Other guy: “I don’t know man, but you know why it’s called District of Columbia? It’s not actually a part of the United States. D.C. is its own country.”
Guy: “Ohhhh.”
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Chef’s kiss!
At Yes! Organic Market in Capitol Hill, a customer is purchasing Whisked Bakery cookies:
Cashier to customer: “What’s your favorite?”
Customer: “I like the chocolate chip.” *thinks for a second* “Actually, what I really like to do is get stoned and eat the salty oatmeal ones. They taste like popcorn.”
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Relationship lobbying
A woman is speaking to someone on FaceTime while walking with her boyfriend in Navy Yard:
“When we started dating he was a registered Republican! And now – Independent! I’ll take it.”
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A concept
During a FaceTime happy hour, one friend is telling the others about a D.C. boy she went on a date with:
“He takes pictures of his food but not to post on social media – just for his own reference.”
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The second-hand embarrassment is palpable
A man in a car with his windows open is placing a call over Bluetooth, and a woman picks up:
Woman, yelling: “Know what, don’t ever call me again, don’t call me again.”
*Man rolls up window.”
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Tour de Potomac
Two guys are standing with their bikes on 1st and East Capitol streets, drinking water:
One says to the other: “I just want to be able to pedal fast enough that the riders in Hains Point don’t pass me like I’m standing still.”
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Friday movie night
A 20-something is at home, discussing the next Fantastic Beasts movie over dinner:
“I wouldn’t pay money to see it, but I would illegally download it.”
