Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant—good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

A five-year-old is “dining” al fresco at Yards Park: 

“Grandma, is Trump real?”

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Someone’s been studying their vocab cards 

A 10-year-old is watching the vice-presidential debate: 

“Ooh, this is about to get fiscal!”

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Wood love to hear it! (Sorry) 

A man and woman in their 40s or early 50s are crossing a street in West End: 

Woman: “Remind me to tell you an interesting story about pine trees.”

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Moths to a flame or whatever

A group of three 20-something women are standing on the corner of Georgia Avenue and Harvard Street, looking lost and staring at their phones:

Man, sitting on the curb: “Y’all looking for NuVegan?”
Women: “YES!!”
Man: “I thought so!” *points down the street*
One woman, laughing as they walk away: “Wow, are we that obvious?”

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Oct. 13, 2017: A bit dramatic don’t ya think?

A mid-20s guy is in line for the bathroom at Nats Park after a loss to the Cubs: 

To nobody in particular: “I have no reason to live, just castrate me now!”

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Oct. 27, 2017: That why the Bar is so tough

A group of boys around ages 10-12 are having lunch outside with lots of squirrels running around: 

Boy 1 points to each squirrel and calls them by names: John, Thomas, Michael, etc.
Boy 2: “How do you know their names?! Did you go to LAW SCHOOL with them or something?”

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Oct. 19, 2018: Wrong on many levels

A woman in her early 20s is speaking to two men in their early 20s on the Red Line between Farragut North and Dupont Circle: 

“He has to have gone to a state school like Georgetown if he got that job. Georgetown is state, not private, right? That has to be it.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.