Don’t worry, this is the last creepy clown on this list.

Mike Maguire / Flickr

Perhaps you’ve been a bit too distracted lately by the real-life horror movie playing out before your eyes to give too much thought to the fake-horror holiday around the corner.

Well, fear not: each year, DCist compiles a list of last-minute costume ideas for locals who like to procrastinate. Here’s our 2020 roundup:

Wanna go retro? Check out our list of 2019 ideas.

Rats were getting ready for a reproduction bonanza, thanks to a mild winter and early spring, when the pandemic hit. Airwolfhound / Flickr

D.C. CANNIBAL RAT: There’s no doubt about it: the pandemic has been hard on all of us. And what happens when the going gets tough and you’re a D.C. rat without access to all the food scraps normally discarded in a back alley from the city’s restaurants? Apparently, you turn to cannibalism. (Yes, seriously. We hate it too.) And that’s where the most depraved 2020 costume is born: a D.C. zombie rat! Find (or fashion) some rat ears, add a tail, and think bloodthirsty thoughts. —Alexya Brown

DC Health redesigned its metrics dashboard in September. Screenshot via coronavirus.dc.gov

D.C.’S NEW CORONAVIRUS DASHBOARD: Do you have any clothes in bright green, yellow, or red? You have everything you need to dress as the new dashboard DC Health unveiled last month to simplify its COVID-19 metrics for the public. —Lori McCue

Carol the Broom Photo courtesy of the Department of Transformation

 

GOOGLY-EYED BROOMS: These protectors of D.C.’s bike lanes come in all colors, shapes, and sizes, but they all have those crazy eyes. Try dressing up like Bobby, the red broom that guarded 4th Street NE last fall. Grab a red wig, don some of those googly eye glasses, and bring the sign that declares your support for cyclists. —Elliot Williams

The line for coronavirus testing on Thursday at the 14th Street fire station stretched around the block and down 16th Street NW. DCist/WAMU / Jordan Pascale

THE LINE AT JUDICIARY SQUARE’S PUBLIC TESTING SITE: Grab five of your mask-wearing friends, and stand in an outdoor line six feet apart. Of course, make sure everyone is on their phone and not talking. Remain standing for hours. For some extra place setting, go to Judiciary Square and do this while actually waiting in line to get tested! —Matt Blitz

A screenshot from the Google Maps street view Google Maps

STUMPY THE SHORT TIDAL BASIN TREE: When the world needed him most, Stumpy appeared. Wear some light-pink hair rollers, wrap yourself in a 30-gallon brown paper bag for the trunk, and give hope to your friends by dressing up like the small but persevering cherry blossom. —Elliot Williams

The former location of Greenworks, on O Street NW, is the location that Call Your Mother has chosen for its second location. But its bid for a zoning variance has been met with opposition from neighbors. Mike Maguire / Flickr

GEORGETOWN’S CALL YOUR MOTHER LOCATION: It was supposed to be the second outpost for the growing bagel empire … until things took a nightmarish turn. The call for a “use variance relief” at the bubblegum pink storefront pitted CYM against some of its soon-to-be neighbors and even then-Councilmember Jack Evans. You can dress as this zoning hullabaloo by wearing anything you have that’s the color of Pepto Bismol, with a necklace of bagels around your neck, and your hair adorned with paper appeals to the Zoning Board. Add a pop of forest green for the roof. (Thanks to Chelsea Cirruzzo for the inspiration.) —Rachel Kurzius

An outdoor “streatery” on 14th Street NW. Elvert Barnes / Flickr

STREATERY: Whether you love or hate the word for these outdoor dining zones, you can’t deny they’ve become enormously popular since COVID-19 dining restrictions forced most restaurants to do business on the streets and sidewalks. Unlike the real streateries, which require special permits and soon, resources to get winter-ready, it’s easy to become a one-person streatery. Just carry around a couple of traffic cones (thank you, Amazon) and place them around yourself when you’re standing still. Now you’re ready to eat your sandwich or beer that completes the look. And yes — you still need to wear a mask. —Lori McCue

Wilford loves lying on his back and getting belly rubs. Photo courtesy of Pokey Pot Pie

LOVABLE LARGE CAT WILFORD: Wilford, a 28-pound chonkster, stole our hearts just before Valentine’s Day and found his furrrever home shortly thereafter. Not sure how to dress up like a fat cat? Just picture a “greasy watermelon,” as his former foster parent described Willie — or cat ears and pillows tied around your midsection would do the trick. You could also dress up like the late Vito, a 35-pound tabby formerly known as Symba. (Fun fact: Vito’s owners also adopted King Wilford.) —Elliot Williams

D.C.’s novice breadmakers are hitting up local bakeries for flour and yeast. Theme Photos / Unsplash

QUARANTINE BREAD: Listen, we know baking sourdough is so April by now, but at least honor the local bakeries that had to field all our requests for yeast — not to mention Ferment D.C., who’s been serving up mystery bread since the Before Times. Tie on your apron, dust yourself in flour, and bake one last loaf to carry around for the sake of the costume. (Or, fine, print out a photo of bread.) —Nathan Diller

The patio at Ghostline DC is already making accommodations for winter. Kate Stoltzfus / DCist

GHOST KITCHEN: How to embody these trendy takeout-only restaurants? Don the traditional white sheet with holes, natch, and carry around some of those leftover paper takeout bags we know you have stashed in your kitchen. Don’t forget to insist that your friends only communicate with you by text all night, much like QR codes we’re all using to order dinner these days. —Lori McCue

Filed Under: d.c. halloween costumes, halloween,