Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week:

A group is chatting at a Maryland bridal salon.

Woman: “He has a face made for masks.”

—

Had to google what this is. 

Two women in their 40s walking their dogs in American University Park.

Woman 1: “It really bothers me. It’s so out of balance.”
Woman 2: “How so?”
Woman 1: “It sets a really bad precedent.”
Woman 2: “Oh, you mean the executive unitary theory of government.”

—

He’s seems like a pleasant dude.

A National Guard airman is standing outside the corner of Longworth House Office Building talking into his radio.

“Yes sir. Alright. Enjoy your poop.”

—

 Learning curve.

A late twenty something is with his parents near the Korean War Memorial.

“Dad you’re in D.C. We wear masks here!”

—

May 15, 2020: You can have a little nicotine, as a treat.

“Shelly it’s a fucking pandemic, we can have a cigarette every now and then.”

—

August 13, 2018: A ringing endorsement!

On 18th Street in Adams Morgan in Saturday night, just past midnight.

Early 20s girl to a group of friends, gesturing at a Jumbo Slice place: “Now that pizza, I can eat sober.”

—

September 19, 2014: The shame.

A couple meets up with a friend at the front of the Black Cat stage.

Friend, yelling over the music: “Hey! Did you go to Ben’s Chili Bowl?”
Woman, yelling yet horrified: “Oh my God, yes! Can you smell it on us?”

—

May 6, 2016: Same here.

On the Red line.

Train operator: “Passengers, we will be holding here due to a backup that goes all the way to Metro Center. I’m sure it won’t be too long.” (pause)
Then with a tone of disgust: “I don’t like it, though.”