Colleen Grablick
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.
Overheard of the Week:
A guy is on the phone while waiting in line to get his first shot at the St. Elizabeths COVID-19 vaccine site:
“I told my sister, this is the first time it’s been good for me to be fat. So I got Milk Bar to celebrate.”
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Ma’am this is an American Eagle
A tourist family matriarch is decked out in Americana in the Pentagon City Mall:
“What are these arrows on the ground. As if I need to follow them. So stupid. These masks mandates are bad enough.”
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Two guys are running at Georgetown Waterfront early in the morning, both federal employees.
Guy 1: “So I get to meet the AG today on a Zoom call, we shall see how it goes. Is this how people feel when they see Beyoncé buying apples at the grocery store?”
Guy 2: “You know it’s a web link right? So it’s more like seeing Beyoncé buy apples through a two-way mirror.”
Guy 1, disappointed: “So I guess I shouldn’t wear my best suit. Polo and khakis it is then! It’s the suit of Zoom calls!”
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Observant!
Three roommates are watching Little Women. Aunt March appears on the screen:
Roommate 1: “She kind of looks like Meryl Streep.”
Roommate 2: “That is Meryl Streep.”
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Sept. 11, 2015: Working on the Hill
Staffers are in a House office building on the day Congress returned:
Staffer: “Today sucks. Someone was pooping in my crying stall.”
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May 17, 2019: Hope for the young people
At 1:30am in front of Ultra Bar in Penn Quarter, a drunk group of teens or young college kids are gathered around one puking girl:
Friend, slurring: “OMG Jasmine, stop! Throw up in the TRASH, not the recycling!”
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Feb. 15, 2019: Learn something new every day
On a Silver Spring-bound Metro in the morning:
Man: “I used to work in big cat conservation and the people were crazy. It’s true that cat people are crazy and the bigger the cat, the crazier the people.”
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