Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch

Overheard of the Week: 

Women in their mid-twenties are walking down 14th street shortly after the CDC released updated mask guidelines:

“I guess I’m vaccinated so I don’t have to wear a mask outside but … I really don’t want people to think I’m a Republican.”

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Out of all of the songs you could choose…

An early 30s couple is walking their baby around near Logan Circle: 

Guy: “I’m going to miss masks.”
Gal: “I know. COVID aside, no one needs to know how aggressively I’m lip syncing Macklemore’s Thrift Shop under here.”

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Stay humble

Two middle-aged men are walking up to World of Beer in Arlington:

Man 1: “Outside is where all the young, beautiful people sit.”
Man 2: “Let’s go inside with the trolls.”

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What a start to a sentence 

Overheard at National Airport, walking past a security booth just after arrival:

“You mean to tell me that YOUR bag, that smells like weed and has $7,000….”

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This has to be lifted from a Grey’s Anatomy episode 

Two women in their late 20s/early 30 are talking about their sexual escapades and conquests in Mitchell Park:

Girl 1: “One of my most wild was having sex with a married man at the hospital in the bathroom, next to another man.”

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So, you’re saying he’s married? 

A woman is walking up 14th St NE, talking loudly on a phone:

“And he’s married! Married! He’s out there having babies with whoever, and that man is married!”

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Preparing for cicadas! 

A mid 30s dad on a bike with his toddler on the back in a kids seat: 

Toddler: (inaudible)
Dad: “Yeah there were a lot of bugs … we ate some of them.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.