Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

A woman is walking her tiny white dog outside the Logan Circle Whole Foods on Sunday morning. She’s commanding them to wait, sit, etc. while off leash: 

Woman: “Ok, you may throw up now.”
Dog: *immediately starts retching onto the sidewalk*

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I’m rooting for them

A young couple in their 20s, giddy, drunk and dressed for a nice date, are teetering by restaurants on 14th Street:

Man turns to the woman with a proud look on his face: “By the way, I know the alphabet.”

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Vibes: immaculate

A 20-something woman is walking at the corner of 17th Street and Massachusetts Avenue, eating Cheez-its:

Woman, talking on the phone: “…just walking down the street eating Cheez-its.”

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Someone’s been doing their daily meditation app

A man and woman in their 30s are walking by the Tidal Basin: 

Woman: “I’ve been very single since 2018, so I’ve learned to turn my attention inwards.”

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Aug. 24, 2018: Narrowing it down

Across the street from the Navy Yard Metro Station before a Nats game, a middle-aged guy is talking on his cell phone while looking into the throngs of people: 

“Are you wearing red?”

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July 20, 2018: Wrong

A gaggle of young adults are mingling outside the Dupont Z-Burger: 

Young woman: “So, does D.C. have an airport?”
Man, authoritatively: “There’s three, Dulles is the best of them.”

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May 17, 2019: Fun bar conversation

At Local 16 during a beautiful Friday afternoon happy hour:

Mid-twenties dude to other mid-twenties dude: “I’d like to see the cross tabs on Biden’s electability”

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