Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

A guy is explaining the nature of his bond with a friend’s husband while sitting a hot tub in Southeast D.C.: 

Guy: “It’s not even about Chili’s…”

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Where has she been going?

A young woman is on the phone at the top of the stairs to DC9’s rooftop:

“I love nursing homes. They have dope events with massive amounts of alcohol.”

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Define “old” 

Two early 20-something women are on 18th Street in Adams Morgan:

“I don’t want to wait until I’m in my 30s to start having children. I’ll be way too old then.”

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Who’s to say 

On an inbound Northeast Regional Amtrak, the conductor makes an announcement over the PA:

“Now arriving Washington Union Station. All doors will open. Well, all doors should open.”

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So brave

A woman and a man are sitting outside at The Coupe in Columbia Heights, maybe friends or maybe on a first date. They’re talking about their parents becoming more progressive over time: 

Woman: “My dad has become more comfortable talking about sex now. He was in a conversation with my mom where she was recommending vibrators to my aunt and she was like ‘get this one, this one, and this one’ and I think he only flinched once.”

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????

A man, probably in his mid-30s, is talking loudly on the phone outside of a bar on H Street: 

“He was cool when he had hair but now he’s just annoying. I just hate how much he cares about people.”

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Happens to the best of us 

Two women are getting pedicures in Friendship Heights: 

One woman: “So, I’ll let his dad hold the baby, but that’s it. I just question his judgement. Remember when he went to get fried chicken, but then he just got COVID instead?”

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Fun dinner conversation

One middle-aged woman and three middle-aged men are dining together at The Roost:

Woman: “Monistat. You, like, ‘supposit’ it in your vagina… right?”
Men: *blank stares*
Woman: “Is ‘supposit’ a word? Like, suppository.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.