Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

At Guapo’s in Arlington, a husband and wife are waiting to be seated. The wife returns from the bathroom: 

Husband: “What is it like in there?”
Wife: “It’s like it’s 2018 in there.”

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Sign of the times, etc.

A group of people are sitting outside at a restaurant near Eastern Market:

“Yeah we ended up doing a Zoom bris.”

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Everyone has the dramatic friend

A group of about five young women who attend Howard University are walking across campus at night, dressed to go out (high heels and party dresses). It’s raining hard, and one is lagging behind: 

She calls out to the friends in front of her: “Wow, y’all are just gonna let me get trafficked.”

—

Oh no

A man and woman, probably married, are conversing in Adams Morgan: 

Woman: “And I’m feeling deprived, I haven’t gotten any Amazon packages today!”

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Influenced

Two women at the Takoma Busboys and Poets are discussing body issues: 

One woman to the other: “I want to get the Brazilian butt lift … not because I have body image issues but for the Instagram aesthetics.”

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Truer words

Gaggle of people are walking south on 18th Street in Adams Morgan, discussing the closure of Secrets and if something else will reopen:

“There will always be a market for dick.”

—

Don’t touch the money maker!

Overheard at a Prince George’s County pool: 

Ten year old to a friend: “I can’t have a black eye, I have an interview tomorrow!”

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Rule number one, broken

Two 20-something women walking in Chinatown:

Woman 1: “Remember that double date that wasn’t a double date because he didn’t pay for the milkshake?”
Woman 2: “Oh, yeah …”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.