Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

Baby’s first

A woman walks into a restaurant at Washington Harbor and asks where the restroom is. Making her way to the back restaurant, she says to infant strapped to her chest: 

“Oh, this is the first time you’ve been inside of anywhere.”

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Journalists are shaking

A guy is walking briskly near a gym in Arlington, wearing a business suit and talking into his phone: 

“No one ever accomplished anything on Twitter ever, so stop wasting your time.”

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Hand meet forehead

A white coworker overheard in an office on Friday, before Juneteenth: 

“I wish Juneteenth would have been on a different date because we already have July 4 and Memorial Day.”

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Can you blame her?

A man and woman are walking down Connecticut Avenue in Woodley Park: 

Man: “She’s the most unemployable person ever.”
Woman: “It’s not that she’s unemployable, it’s that she doesn’t want to work.”

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A thoughtful seven-year-old

A family of seven — four kids, a mom, two grandparents — are riding a Silver Meteor train from New York to Orlando. They arrive in Union Station: 

Kid, aged seven or so: “Are we very close [to Orlando]?”
Mom: “What? No! We have all night on here.”
Kid: “Oh, wow. RIP the driver!”

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Close

Two women, one a bit older, are sitting on a porch in Columbia Heights: 

Older woman: “Is that one of those Facebook apps?
Woman 2, holding her phone: “It’s a filter.”

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This is either about a baby or a dog … right … 

Two women in their 20s are walking near 16th and Q Streets NW: 

“He said, ‘She’s really handsy, so if I have it in my pocket she’s gonna find it before we get to the park.'”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.