Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

A girl is talking to her friend at Banneker pool.

“Someone argued that pizza is a salad…because it’s just an assortment of vegetables put together…and I said yeah but only if it’s deep dish.”

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It’s all just geography

Two men are sitting at separate tables at a Dupont Circle coffee shop. One is describing neighborhoods in the D.C., including Kalorama, which he describes as beautiful, to the other, who doesn’t seem familiar: 

“The Obamas live there. And so did Trump’s dumb daughter.”

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Wouldn’t be Overheards without one from a CVS 

At a Silver Spring CVS, woman in her 30s is talking to the pharmacist by the COVID-19 vaccine area: 

“But how do I know that the shot I get is definitely the COVID vaccine?”

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Tip your servers

A waiter is loudly checking in on his table in Ballston: 

Waiter: “and how is everything tasting?”
Man: *mumbles something*
Waiter, ecstatic: “it’s like a slice of heaven? Great!”
Man: *mumbles something again*
Waiter, dejected: “oh…. It needs more lemon… I’ll be right back…”

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Stay curious, keep asking questions

A man and woman are walking on Sherman Avenue in Columbia Heights:

Man: “I’m confused by the word transvaginal vs. intravaginal. Because where does it go?”

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Define “good”

Overheard in NoMa: 

Person 1: “U St isn’t good on a Friday.”
Person 2: “Ugh ok then what is?”
Person 1: “Arlington.”

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Fact check: true

Overheard at a party in a Park View backyard: 

One woman: “Do you know he sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber? Justin Bieber. Yeah, he’s like lost his marbles.”

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That’s the spirit 

Overheard in a long line at Thomas Sweet ice cream shop in Georgetown, 9:30pm on a Tuesday night: 

Woman to partner: “How much are we paying the babysitter so we can stand in this line?”

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It’s not that deep

A young child wearing a Nats hat, around age 6,  and another child around the same age are eating ice cream in Annapolis: 

Kid in Nats hat, deadly serious: “See that guy over there? He’s wearing a Phillies hat. That means we don’t like him.”

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