Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week:

Two women are kayaking on the Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis: 

First woman, after seeing several triangular gray fins come up out of the water: “What is that?! Are those sharks??”
Second woman: “No, stingrays! Look, they’re everywhere right under the surface!”
First woman: “Oh! …… Wait, is that better?!?!”

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You dropped your tinfoil hat, buddy

A man is talking on his phone while walking his dog near downtown Silver Spring:

“Don’t worry, I always assume that at least two different governments are listening in on my phone calls.”

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Blessings to whoever was on the other line

A Georgetown student is pacing in front of his apartment on the phone with a consoling friend, or a customer support representative: 

Through his frustration, he asks with desperation: “Have you ever dealt with entitled people before?!”

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I, for one, am happy for her

Overheard in Eastern Market: 

A woman, boasting to friends: “I don’t know how I got so good at directions. Put me anywhere in the city and I just know how to get to my destination.”
Woman 2: “It’s a grid system…”

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Poetic 

Overheard in a Navy Yard apartment pool: 

Guy to woman: “Yeah, there’s nothing more erotic than being around people right now.”

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July 17, 2020: Thinking ahead

On a date with an Assistant United States Attorney, he gazes thoughtfully out the window:

AUSA: “I’m just not sure I want that as a part of my personal narrative if I decide to run for office some day.”

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July 2, 2015: The original Whole Paycheck

A couple is walking in Georgetown, and the woman points to Dean & Deluca: 

The man walking with her: “Dean & A-Rip-Off? No.”

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As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.