Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch

Overheard of the Week: 

Two Black D.C. transit workers see a young white woman pushing a pram with two dogs: 

One of the workers: “Them mother****ers so spoiled. They treat them dogs better than they treat us.”

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But what about a car?

Two middle-aged couples crossing New York Avenue at 10th Street NW — looking at each other instead of oncoming traffic: 

Man: “You’re four times more likely to be killed by a vending machine than a shark!”

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Nope

A family is at the Lincoln Memorial, gazing up at Arlington House:

Parent: “I think that’s Arlington Cemetery.”
Kid, pointing to Rosslyn: “Yeah and that’s Crystal City!”

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Closer, but nope

A family (seemingly visiting an adult child who lives here) is walking south down New Hampshire Ave., about to approach Q St.:  

Kid: “Where are we going?”
Mom: “We’re here, we’re here, we’re at Avenue Q!!!”

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Bartleby the Bus Driver

 A man is standing at the back door wanting to get off a northbound 70 bus. It’s stopped at the light on the south side of the Florida Ave. intersection, but not at the bus stop yet: 

Man, yelling to the driver: “You can open the door if you want to!”
Driver: “Nah, I don’t want to.”

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They have politicized… hydrangeas 

A woman is on the phone at a nail salon in Northwest D.C., discussing the appearance of pink hydrangeas decorating the altar at a mass, when the brief specified patriotic arrangements: 

“It was wokeness run amok. It was deliberate sabotage.”

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Very hard eye roll 

Overheard at the Citi Open:

Tennis bro, to volunteer checking tickets outside of box aisles: “Well I have two suites, and box seats, so like, which tickets do you want to see?”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.