Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

Two (very) elderly people are in a Harris Teeter in Potomac, Maryland. (They apparently do not know each other.): 

Man: “You have fabulous hair.”
Woman: “Why, thank you!”
Man: “Is it yours?”

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We were all thinking it 

A couple is walking out onto the porch in Kalorama:

Woman: “Ugh this is amazing! That’s it. Quit your job, let’s go on a hike.”

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Protect the honey buns at all costs

A young man is attempting to cross 14th Street while an aggressive driver tries to turn in front of him: 

“This bitch just tried to run me over while I’m carrying my honey buns.”

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One 20-something woman to her friends, as they cross the street in Dupont Circle: 

“You just gotta walk with confidence, then they won’t hit you.”

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Everything about this is bad

A man is talking on phone while walking by the Navy Yard Whole Foods:

“Oh, GW? It’s like a quasi-prestigious school here.”

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Do D.C. next (actually don’t)

Three women in their 20s are outside Streets Market in NoMa: 

“New York is, like, the chaotic slut of the East Coast.”

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Taco Bell erasure

At children’s swim class in Alexandria, a mid or early 30s mom is speaking very loudly to a soft spoken six- or seven-year-old boy: 

Boy: *muffled*
Mom, loudly: “No, a tsunami is the SAME thing as a hurricane.”
Boy: “No, it’s a tidal wave.”
Mom, loudly: “A tsunami is not a tidal wave, it’s a big storm.”
Boy: *quietly refutes again*
Mom, loudly: “You’re wrong and I am right. A tsunami is not a wave, it’s a storm. Enough!”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.