Two men sprinted off a Red Line train at Dupont Circle, according to a viral Labor Day weekend tweet, and one of them boarded again at Woodley Park. They were apparently racing the train — one of them successfully.

We have a lot of questions about how feasible this particular competition is. It would mean running at least 1.1 miles on Connecticut Avenue — uphill, no less — plus tackling those lengthy escalators, all in three minutes plus any potential dwell time if trains are running smoothly. (Our transportation reporter says there’s no way it could have happened.) In 2014, inspired by London’s Run The Tube trend, runner Alison Meek raced a Metro train from Federal Triangle to Smithsonian. While it’s a significantly shorter 0.3-mile distance than the one between Dupont and Woodley Park, she still didn’t make it in time to board the same train.

It got us thinking about the kinds of gauntlets that D.C. residents can face on a regular basis, and some of the other bucket-list city challenges that folks can attempt. But please don’t view this as an endorsement of all of these challenges, some of which seem dangerous. (We should also add that Metro cautions against running in its stations and on its escalators.)

Racing the D.C. Streetcar

Sure, plenty of riders have joked that they can outrun the D.C. Streetcar on H Street, but this is an actual race that takes place annually, organized by the H Street Runners Club. The $200 million streetcar can travel up to 15 mph and its route stretches just over 2 miles, so good luck. Planning to join this year’s race? The club is already training for it.

Tour De DCPL

For more than a decade, the D.C. Public Library has organized an annual bike ride that takes participants on a tour of some of the city’s 26 branches. The 2019 route, the last time that the event wasn’t self-guided for social distancing purposes, included nine libraries for a 12.3-mile ride. But DCPL encourages bikers willing to go the extra mile, literally, to see if they can hit all 26 in one go, collecting bookmarks and other swag as well as learning and answering trivia questions at each stop. And while you definitely shouldn’t read and ride, the library also gives out audio book recommendations.

Dodging tourists while scootering on the National Mall

Large families from out of town, standing and staring. Looking at maps. Blocking the entire path. Sound familiar? This is the typical scene on the National Mall, even during a slow year for foot traffic. Riding an e-scooter or a bike on the Mall can feel like Olympic slalom skiing — except, instead of narrowly passing those thin gates, you’re avoiding humans. Everyone knows about the challenge of avoiding tourists who don’t know the stand-to-the-right rule on Metro escalators, but this here is the real challenge. Note: While NPS temporarily designated specific areas for dockless scooter parking on the mall during a pilot program earlier this year, it is forbidden to ride through any of the memorials.

50 States Ride

The Washington Area Bicycle Association organizes an annual 62-mile ride that threads bikers through all 50 avenues in the city named for the 50 states. The loop traverses all four quadrants. This year’s event takes place this very Saturday, and is already sold out. But while we’re on the subject of challenges related to D.C.’s 50 state-named avenues, we absolutely agree with the take from Slate writer Christina Cauterucci that the city should “have a themed bar for every state, each residing on its respective state street.” Just think about the incredible related bar crawls and rides (perfect for inclusion in future lists) that would result. If the 50-states ride isn’t your thing, you can try the Hains Point 100 — riding 33 laps around Hains Point for a cool 100 miles.

Visiting every Metro station in one day

Back in 2012, one Metro-loving rider visited all of the transit system’s stations in one day. Andrew Baker made it to all 86 stops in seven hours, 27 minutes, and 49 seconds. He welcomed others to beat his record: “Ideally we could schedule a lot of people at once. Amazing Race-style where people start at different ends and compete against each other,” he said. Since his 2012 adventure, the first phase of Metro’s Silver Line has opened, adding five new stations to the mix. Six more will join the party when Phase 2 is slated to start operating in 2022. Still seems possible to do it all in a day, though.

Correctly reading D.C. parking signs

If you thought reading comprehension was tough on standardized tests, it’s nothing compared to the difficulty of parsing the text-heavy, seemingly contradictory information on the slew of signs often hung atop one another on street poles. Is it a tow-away zone or is it two-hour parking? Is it even possible for these varying realities to coexist in one parking spot? The all-star event happens when nearby trees have “Emergency No Parking” signs affixed to them. Can you trust all of the other cars who seem not to be bothered by those signs, or should you try to find another spot? Now that parking enforcement has returned, you’ll definitely know when you’ve lost this challenge.

The Rhode Island Challenge

A DCist follower on Twitter writes that freshman at Catholic University “often try the Rhode Island Challenge,” which apparently involves hanging from the handlebars on the Metro car from the moment the doors close at Brookland-CUA stop to when they open at the Rhode Island Avenue stop. Do this at your own risk — we assume those handlebars weren’t designed to hold the entire weight of multiple humans.

“Climb ev’ry mountain, run ev’ry … street?”

In Feb. 2020, a local math teacher attempted to run every street and alley in D.C. — all 2,023 of them. Jarad Schofer, the runner, told Washingtonian, “I like big challenges.” He ran with a tiny, printed map and used an app called CityStrides to track his progress. TLDR: He did it! For his latest feat, he walked across the U.S. to raise money for cancer research.

Making it onto the Metro just before the doors close

Even if it’s not racing the train itself, racing the Metrorail doors is a thrill many D.C. commuters have experienced at least once. There’s no feeling more satisfying than making it down two flights of escalators, looking up at the train schedule screen to see that your train is arriving, and leaping into the train car like it’s the end zone during the Super Bowl as the doors close behind you. Other commuters look on in admiration as the Metro voice chimes in, “Step back, doors closing.” Heck yeah they are.

Sprinting across the New York and Florida Avenue intersection near Dave Thomas Circle

This one could soon be a thing of the past, as the D.C. government is planning a major overhaul of the infamous, dangerous Northeast intersection, home to one of the District’s few remaining Wendy’s locations. But for years, this hellish intersection has presented quite the challenge for walkers, bikers, and scooters. About a dozen lanes converge, while apartment and office buildings nearby create an epic wind tunnel on Florida Avenue NE, meaning you have to sprint with your eyes closed to make it through the crosswalk before the timer ends. That’s got to be a contender for the next Olympic games, right?

From DCist’s Instagram followers: 

“Trying to make friends outside of work without the ‘what do you do?’ conversation.”

“The All Day Day: brunch, a bar, pre-dinner-apps/drinks, dinner, bar, the club 😮‍💨”

“30S bus race: Can you make it down Wisconsin Ave. to M Street before the bus you missed?”

“When you hear the Metro pull up and you are putting money on ur card.”