Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

At the “Cars in the Capitol” exhibit on the Mall, a child and his mother are looking at the DeLorean on display: 

Child: *inaudible*
Mom: “No dear, this is not the Mandalorian. That’s a part of Star Wars.”

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Isn’t it ironic

A woman is walking and talking on the phone in downtown Silver Spring on her phone, wearing a t-shirt that says “Don’t Hate – Meditate.” 

“I know. I know! That’s because they’re all a***oles!”

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Says who

A 30-something man is explaining things to older companions at a Larry’s Lounge happy hour on the Friday of Labor Day Weekend: 

“There’s ugly people. There’s attractive people. There is no in-between.”

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I hope he paid her

A young woman wearing fuzzy slippers is walking her dog and talking on the phone around 11th and C Streets SE: 

“When I said he could come over, I thought it was to fuck, not do his hair.”

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He could be both

Two fifth or sixth grade boys are watching their friend and a four-year-old ride their bikes:

One boy to the other: “That little kid (the 4-year-old) is so good on his bike. Look at him – he’s gonna be the next Neil Armstrong!! (Thinks a minute) Wait Lance Armstrong, not Neil. I’m such an idiot!”

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Practically ancient 

Two early 20-somethings are walking near Dupont circle:

Him: “Remember in our dorm, when we used to have to plug the wifi into the wall? What’s that thing called?”
Her: “I can’t remember…isn’t it an…ethernet…or something?”
Him: “OMG we’re so old.”

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Yikes

A 30-something couple just finished running to the U.S. Capitol and paused to watch a nearby band perform:

Man: “The trumpet sounds really good.”
Woman: “As long as it’s a trumpet and not a Trumper.”

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What is a creative director?

Two women are talking about guys on a dating app at the West End Trader Joe’s: 

Woman 1: “This guy is the Creative Director of Tokyo Gun Club.”
Girl Two: “What the fuck is Tokyo Gun Club?”

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