Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch

Overheard of the Week: 

Overheard while at a stop light next to McMillan reservoir.

One man on a scooter to another: “If you squint your eyes it’s kind of like you’re at the seaside.”

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Something beautiful about this

Overheard on 14th and T streets around 10:30 p.m. on a Saturday night:

Guy to girl (both drunkenly wobbling): “Don’t get on, you could get a D-U-I.” *Gestures to scooter girl is trying to activate.*
Girl (slurring): “I don’t give a shit about U or I.”

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Maybe when she’s six

At the Renaissance festival, parents are talking to a 5-year-old girl:

Parent: “Want to throw stars?”
Girl: “I want to throw knives.”
Parent: “Should we trust you with knives?  No… let’s throw stars. ”

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Fair enough

Two women in their 20s walking around the National Zoo:

Woman 1: “Do you think women in their 40s who are divorced are happier?”
Woman 2: “Yes — because they’re divorced!!!”

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Yes, four hours

A table of four women in their 30s are at Bouqueria downtown around 6 p.m. on a Saturday: 

One explains to the other three: “There’s a difference between getting drunk by yourself at 8 p.m. and getting drunk by yourself at 4 p.m.”

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Overheard: Philly edition 

On a Saturday late morning at a cafe on Market Street, Philadelphia, two college-aged patrons are on what appears to be a first date.

Woman: “So where are you from?”
Guy: “D.C. What about you?”
Woman, excitedly: “Me too! Where in D.C.? I’m from Petworth!”
Guy, a little timidly: “Uh, Ocean City.”
Woman, flatly: “That’s in Maryland, though, isn’t it.”
Guy: “Yeah, I guess so.”

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You’re going to regret that

A man is walking down Harvard Street in Northwest, talking on the phone loudly: 

“Hey, as long as my chapter’s the longest, I don’t care.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.