Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

Overheard at the Maryland Renaissance Festival:

“The second my mom quits the government and she can smoke weed, I feel like she’s gonna get really into crystals and healing.”

–

New aesthetic: vintage transit core

An elderly mother and daughter are at Gallery Place metro: 

Daughter, loudly: “It’s the old faregates.”
Mother: “Oh, thank goodness.”

–

Wholesome 

A young woman is walking up 19th street in Adams Morgan around happy hour time, Facetiming a friend:

“I’m a little drunk. Look at the gorgeous city I live in.” *flips FaceTime camera*

–

That’s actually a loaded question

Four tourists are walking around the base of the Washington Monument: 

One man to another in the group: “So what state are we in, anyway?”

–

Agreed

Two young women walking away from a happy hour at The Green Zone:

Woman 1: “I love a good social activity that’s done by 6:30.”

–

Anything is possible if you just believe

Overheard on a walk in Riggs Park:

“In my mind, I look like Halle Berry and sing like Whitney Houston.”

–

Um 

A hipster-ish woman to her hipster-ish boyfriend at a bar on Kennedy Street:

“I’m trying to be somewhere between Anthony Bourdain and Donald Trump.”

–

So much going on here

A group of three young women walking together in Columbia Heights after a night out:

Woman 1: “High heels?”
Woman 2: “You should wear Crocs to work.”
Woman 3: “Why do I have to look cute at work? I’ve got like 5 guys.”

–

Click!

Overseen (?) while shopping for a bed frame online in D.C.: 

A verified Washington D.C. seller: “Absolutely love this bed frame. It doesn’t squeak. I was able to assemble while chugging wine. Very very sturdy.”

–

What has he done?

Overheard at an Arlington playground: 

Young boy, about four, singing to himself as he gets off the seesaw: “Don’t go around breaking young girls’ hearts.”

–

As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.