Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard in D.C. 

In line for security at DCA, a woman, appearing unwell, is getting back in line as someone held her spot for her:

“Ugh thank you so much, I had to run to the bathroom.”
She turns to the line generally: “I swear I’m not contagious, I’m just REALLY hungover!”

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Riveting 

Some Gen Z’ers are walking past shops on King Street in Old Town Alexandria:

Girl: “So, where do you like to shop?”
Boy: “Amazon.”
Girl: “Seriously? Like just for basics or—”
Boy: “Yeah, uh, and I like Express.”
Girl: “Oh. That’s cool. They have nice clothes. I feel like they’re a nicer version of J. Crew.”
Boy: “Yeah…”

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But actually

Three girls are leaving Misha’s in Old Town Alexandria with their iced coffees, walking past Mason & Greens in a heated debate: 

Girl 1: “That’s because there’s NO ethical consumption under capitalism!”
Girl 2: “OKAY but—”
Girl 3: *can’t stop laughing*

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When that one kid in International Affairs 101 raises his hand

Two older gentlemen are chatting on the Friday night commute on the Red Line: 

One to the other: “It’s definitely because of communism, globalism, unilateralism, and capitalism.”

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All the food?

A couple is walking down P Street in Dupont, looking at the shuttered restaurants: 

Woman: “This is the one (pause) with all the food.”
Man: “Yep.”

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Fun at parties 

Indistinct sounds of a small house party of late 20s, early 30-somethings is coming from Northeast apartment with the balcony door open: 

Out of nowhere: “JANET NAPOLITANO MOTHERFUCKERS!”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.